Author: Sara W.

Matters of Materialism

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

Up until a year ago this past weekend, I had spent my entire life living in Southern California.  All but three of those years, I lived in the more affluent part of Orange County.  Aside from some traveling, my view of the world was as I saw it in Orange County or through media outlets.  When we moved here to Central Oregon, I entered in to a whole new way of living.  The immediate differences I noticed were the quieter surroundings, the slower pace of life, the more modest lifestyle, and the instant sense of community.  The latter was such a significant shift from Southern California that both my husband, who was raised in Texas, and I felt that we had entered in to the movies we had watched where everyone welcomes the new neighbors with treats and support.  It was a culture shock in many ways for both of us.

It was a refreshing change to see this alternate way of life.  It was almost the anti-thesis of Southern California and as much as I love SoCal, we needed out of there.  I quickly accepted the new way of life, but had not fully acclimated after our first six months.  It was around that time, that we took our first trip back to visit loved ones in SoCal.  I, of course, noticed the increase in traffic, lights, crowds, and buildings upon my return, but that was about the extent of it.  I imagine I was still equal parts SoCal and Central Oregon at that point.  Last week, we took our second trip back to SoCal and it had an entirely different affect on me.  This time I could not get over all of the styles and bombardment of materialism being thrown at me.

Perhaps it’s because I had just seen the second installment of the Hunger Games Series, Catching Fire, but I liken SoCal to The Capitol and Central Oregon to District 12.  For those who have read the series, I realize this is an extreme analogy.  For those that have not read the series or seen the movies, the basic idea is that The Capitol is an assault on your senses, unless you live there and know no different.  Everything is over the top in The Capitol, particularly the fashion scene and gluttony.

When we first drove in to SoCal during this past trip, I was kind of excited to see all the shopping options and I had already planned out most of our must-have eating stops.  None of those eating spots left me disappointed.  I’m already craving some of those places and we haven’t even been home a week.  However, the fashion scene and shops were overwhelming to me.  The mall was the worst of them all.  Every store had it’s own storefront theme.  While some of the stores had a classy touch, many of them were flaunting sexy, loud, dark, mysterious, and cutting edge without me even having to walk in.  It made me truly sad for the youth that had to innocently walk through the mall and fight off the barrage of sensory overload that tells them what they should and ought to be and have.  I’m a grown woman and I find it hard to fight off the urge to want and desire all these things that I never even thought of owning previously.  What are we doing to our kids and our society when we try to sensationalize every aspect of the day?  Media is no longer the only culprit.

The mall was the most offensive to my senses, but I had noticed it the very first night in town when I went to the movies with my girlfriends.  A lot of people, mostly women, were dressed in such a way that seemed uncomfortable and unnecessary.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t have pride in how we present ourselves.  There is a lot to be said about putting on that one outfit that makes you feel prettier (or more handsome) than usual.  I think it’s the fact that it seems like a requirement to “fit in” in SoCal that irritates me.  I felt this underlying pressure to be more than I am while I was there.  Not in the sense of living up to my personal expectations of myself, but rather living up to other’s expectations of me.  It was disheartening, honestly.

Small towns have their drawbacks, don’t get me wrong.  We don’t have the luxury of walking in to a Toys-R-Us to do our kids’ Christmas shopping, our Target is more of a quasi-Target, major sporting events and the theater are not easily accessible, and more people seem to know your business before you’ve told them.  But, I feel healthier living a slower paced life here with less pressures upon myself.  The part that makes me the saddest is that I had no idea how many pressures were being placed on me by the environment that I was living in until I left it, was released from it, and had to re-enter it.  I worry about those that are not prepared emotionally to fight off the subconscious urge to “keep up” and “fit in.”

Obviously, we cannot escape the world around us and we cannot all move to a small town.  But I hope we don’t desensitize ourselves so much that we lose sight of what really matters.  More importantly, I hope we teach our children that fashion and fame do not matter.  Easier said than done, especially when the pressures are coming from all sides.  Maybe a good approach is to compare and contrast with other areas that you travel to with your kids.  Ask them what they notice is different between wherever you live and the place you’re visiting and get their opinions of what way of life seems healthier.

I’ve joked since I moved to Central Oregon that we’re two decades behind here as it pertains to music, trends, and the like.  But if the direction we’re going in as a society is as showy and loud as I witnessed in the mall in SoCal, I’ll gladly stay behind the times and raise my kids to become old-fashioned.  I don’t want them to think they have to be flashy to be seen and loud to be heard.  I sure hope I can prepare them to appreciate the positive difference they can make in this world by being their truest selves and not falling prey to the matters of materialism.

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One Holiday at a Time

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

While millions of Americans are traveling on this the busiest travel day of the year, my family and I have arrived back home from our pre-holiday travels.  I must say that it’s kind of refreshing to have the stress of travel behind us while we enjoy our Thanksgiving at home with friends.  Less refreshing has been trying to fight the urge to listen to Christmas music and get a head start on our myriad of Christmas traditions.  I know there are more and more people out there that have all but brushed Thanksgiving aside, but I will hold on to my belief that we should celebrate one holiday at a time.

It seems a little sad to me that the one holiday that seems to get the short end of the stick is one centered around having thankful hearts.  I get that listening to Christmas music, starting your shopping, and decorating your home beforehand does not mean that you are not grateful. But it still seems a shame that we give it less and less of our focus. I actually love Christmas music and have often wondered why we don’t listen to it year round.  But I think the special feelings I feel about Christmas music, and all things Christmas, are that they are held aside for a special time of year.  My problem with all the Christmas activity before Thanksgiving is that I don’t feel like it is done to lengthen the experience of the Joy of Christmas but rather to lengthen the ability to “get it all done.”

Black Friday Shopping is the biggest culprit of Thanksgiving being robbed of it’s own separate day.  While I never participated in Black Friday shopping when it was actually on Friday, I could at least respect it’s placement AFTER Thanksgiving.  Now I can’t even do that.  It starts earlier and earlier every year.  Early enough now that it’s becoming known as “gray Thursday.”  I know several people that dislike the stores opening on Thanksgiving, but that’s still not deterring their Black “Friday” shopping experience from happening.  My concern, and history proves this, is that as long as you give a retailer a customer then most retailers are going to take advantage of that opportunity to have their doors open earlier and longer.

There is the argument that we do the shopping out of the need for a good deal, but I can’t imagine that our need is so great that it means robbing workers of their holiday time with family.  My husband is in the medical field and, as a result, we fight to spend our holidays together.  I respect that my husband is needed at the hospital, but are we losing sight when we believe that retailers are needed earlier and earlier for us to snag the best deal?

For many, Black Friday Shopping is also a tradition.  And a rather fun one, I’m told.  I hear people-watching alone is epic.  But I imagine you can still line up outside of the retailers that are making a point to give their workers Thanksgiving off and stay true to Black Friday.  What a wonderful tradition it would be to carry as it was intended on Friday and allow the workers to carry on their traditions of a Thanksgiving meal with their loved ones.

The beauty of Thanksgiving is that it’s one of the few holidays where there are no obligations to give gifts.  The only obligation is to eat, enjoy yourself, have a grateful heart, and spend time with loved ones.  The irony of Black Friday and it’s focus on materialism immediately following, and now infringing on, Thanksgiving is a little disheartening to me.

I suppose it’s easy for me to have my opinion since I have yet to take part in Black Friday Shopping.  Although, as a lover of Christmas music, I can say that I do not listen to the radio stations playing Christmas music prior to Thanksgiving.  It’s no easy task, but I do it in my effort to celebrate one holiday at a time.  I may be one girl with little impact, but I feel better knowing that I believe in this principle enough that I won’t allow myself to be a contributor in Thanksgiving becoming a minor holiday.

To each of you, regardless of your Thanksgiving plans, may you have grateful hearts tomorrow and everyday.  There is always, always, always something to be thankful for in our lives.

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Rest Reminder

~ Sara W. ~ 3 Comments

I was reminded today about the importance of rest in our daily lives.  Perhaps it came to the forefront of my mind because I had a very productive day and now I’m feeling a bit depleted.  These feelings made me recall a workbook I began a few months back called The Self-Esteem Workbook.

I was strongly encouraged years ago by my therapist at the time to do the above mentioned workbook.  Unfortunately, I put it off for quite some time.  Then, a few months ago, I decided to crack it open and give it my all.  It’s important to note that this is a workbook and not just a book.  It really does require work.  You write in it, you practice it, you re-evaluate yourself; it’s work.  They even note in the beginning that you should “resist the tendency to read through [the] book quickly.  Instead, commit now to applying and mastering each skill before moving on to try the next one.”

The first topic the book speaks about is the importance of a healthy body in improving one’s mental health.  The book puts it simply, “You can’t ignore your body and expect to feel good.”  It outlines the importance of exercise, healthy eating, and proper sleep.  Obviously, none of these topics are cutting edge concepts.  There are countless studies supporting the simple fact that our bodies (and our minds) need these approaches to thrive.  The workbook then has you lay out a written plan for yourself in an effort to better care for your body before trying to work on your mental health.  I wrote my plan.  I attempted my plan.  I cut corners on my plan.  Then, I forgot my plan.  Then, because it told me to not go on in the workbook until I applied and mastered each skill, I stopped the book.

Sadly, it’s not the first time I’ve stopped something because it got too hard.  I’m sure I’m not alone in this department.  While I need improvement in all of these categories, sleep seems to be the easiest one to adjust and yet I stay up way too late every night.  I’m already a grouch as it is in the morning, the last thing I need to add to my morning routine is sleep deprivation.

When I was at my absolute worst about not getting to bed at a decent hour, I saw what a huge impact it had on my family, particularly my children.  They became the brunt of my irritable behavior and tired body.  I found myself yelling at them more often.  It was really a sad discovery to see the negative impact my sleep choices had on my mood and, as collateral damage, my family.

So, I’m reminding myself again, and perhaps others that may need to hear it, that an appropriate amount of sleep and regularity in your sleep pattern is crucial to your body, your mental health, and those you come in contact with.  Trying to skip on sleep to accomplish one more thing, or watch one more show, or check Facebook one more time will eventually catch up with you and the results aren’t pretty.

I love how Jeffrey R. Holland, an American educator and religious leader, put it in a recent address: “…watch for the stress indicators in yourself and in others you may be able to help. As with your automobile, be alert to rising temperatures, excessive speed, or a tank low on fuel…Fatigue is the common enemy of us all—so slow down, rest up, replenish, and refill. Physicians promise us that if we do not take time to be well, we most assuredly will take time later on to be ill.”

So, I’m going to recommit myself to improving my aerobic exercise, my eating practices, and my sleep hygiene.  Who knows?  I may just make it to the next chapter before the end of the year?  Of course, to do so, I need to wrap this post up and bid you all goodnight.

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Two Makes It True

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

I’m a firm believer in the “two makes it true” philosophy.  If I hear something from two separate sources, then I imagine it is most likely true.  I’m also a firm believer in finding out the truth for myself.  As a result, I hold on to the “two makes it true” information until I find out otherwise.  This thought process has helped me a lot in life.  The one bit of information that it becomes cloudy on is whether or not Santa is real.  Multiple sources, mostly under the age of 5, have informed me that Santa is real.  Further personal experiences has told me otherwise.  Perhaps that’s why I do not believe in the physical presence of Santa, but the spirit of Santa still lives on in my heart.  Alas, I digress.

This “two makes it true” philosophy came to the forefront of my mind as I was reading the book
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.  I apologize in advance for the many times I will likely reference this book in future posts.  It’s not that it offered earth-shattering ideas, but that it reiterated a lot of concepts I learned in my years of attending therapy.  As I was reading it, I realized how the book was the second source confirming the principles I had learned through difficult and eye-opening therapy sessions.  This book is the “two” that made those therapy concepts “true.”

But better than that, I marveled at how this time I had first put to practice the information I learned in those therapy sessions.  My practice of those principles and the positive results were truly the “two that makes it true.”  So, really this book was the “three.”  Reading this book was the confirmation that those, often painful, therapy sessions really were beneficial to my growth and I’ve now come farther than I realized.  What joy it brought my heart to know that I’m learning and growing.  That change for the better is possible.  Certainly, I have a long way to go.  Don’t we all?

I saw three separate therapists before finding the one that helped change my path.  When I made the call to that fourth therapist, I expressed to her my concern about not finding success with past therapists.  Her response was, “I won’t be able to help you either if you’re not ready to be helped.”  While I still believe her to have been the best therapist out of my experiences, she was right in her response.  Previously, I wasn’t ready to be helped.  I wanted a quick fix.  I wanted the therapists to just take the pain away.  I didn’t really want to have to work at it.  I hadn’t quite grasped before that to truly be healed, it involved re-opening the wounds and cleaning them out.

I am fully aware that there are many out there that live much more secure lives when it comes to their self-worth.  I too have a greater understanding of my self-worth at this point in my life.  I’m learning that I am worth loving just as I am.  But that wasn’t always the case.  I didn’t even realize how far I had come from the woman I was 6 years ago until I was reading The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.

I think today, more than anything, I wanted to share that it’s not too late to do the uncomfortable for the hope of a brighter tomorrow.  Maybe set aside some time today to consider ways in which you might be holding yourself back or, worse, being unnecessarily hard on yourself.  The path to bettering ourselves is not an easy one.  We have to look at the ugly and make sense of it before we can move beyond it.  Maybe that means attending therapy for some, meditating for others, or reading an inspirational book.  But I am happy to report that working through the pain can result in something beautiful.  It’s similar to that magical feeling of believing in the spirit of Santa.  It feels light-hearted and hopeful.

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Plague of the Mommy Brain

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

DISCLAIMER:  This post is in regards to the Mommy Brain Plague, but could easily be considered the Scatter-Brained Plague. The two are interchangeable.  Mom or not, this post has some good tips that have helped me this past week.  However, I apologize in advance if the following narrows my audience at all.

You know those moments when you’re at the park with your kids and a fellow Mom friend and her kids?  You’re standing there trying to carry on an adult conversation while your kids play.  Then, Little Johnny or Baby Sue come in and ask you to push them on the swings, carry them across the glider, watch them do a trick, or tattle on some other child who is being mean.  All viable reasons to interrupt.  This post isn’t about neglecting those requests from your child.  This post is about the moment when you return to your friend after fulfilling your child’s request and can’t for the life of you figure out what you were talking about just a minute ago.  It’s the surest sign of Mommy Brain.  You end up having this choppy and repetitive conversation.  It’s like when you’re reading a page and you realize you were just reading the words and not paying attention.  So you have to start that same sentence over a million times because you can’t seem to focus on the next portion of the story.  Except for it’s worse, because you can’t even remember what book you were reading from in the first place.  So.  Frustrating.

That’s my brain lately.  Except instead of it happening at the park, it’s happening all the time.  I’m serious when I say that if it weren’t for the Task List in my phone, my brain would be completely mush.  I can’t seem to see a thought process through from the beginning to the end.  As a result, I started to shut down.

I have this bin in my kitchen that serves as my In Box.  School papers, bills, letters, coupons, magazines, etc.  All stuff that needs to get done.  This bin was stacked so high it was about to tip over.  The problem is that Mommy Brain couldn’t sort through it.  So it just got worse and worse.

Then we got this letter from our rental property management saying that the owner was coming to inspect the home.  I’m told it’s just an annual check to ensure smoke detectors are working and such.  But, boy, it’s amazing how quickly an owner walk-through can motivate you to get off your dupa and tend to the home.

So, I did it!  I went through my In Box.  And then I went through the kids toys, clothes, and books to omit some of the clutter.  Plus, we finally raked all the leaves and needles from our front and backyard.  And my husband tended to some walls that could use a little touch-up.  It felt good.  It felt really good.

What I learned from this week of decluttering, reorganizing, and fixing is that all these do a world of good in treating Mommy Brain.  Instead of my mind trying to process the billions of things that I need to do but don’t want to do, I’m doing them and it’s freeing up some space for a full and complete thought process.  Who knew?

Another thing that I noticed that helps is reading.  Not just reading a book, but reading a variety of things and formats.  For instance, I get the Costco Connection and the AAA Magazine each month.  They’ve been helping add height to my In Box pile.  There really isn’t anything earth-shattering in there, but I’ll often find a little gem that will get my mind thinking about things that it would not have thought of otherwise.  My husband does this too, except for he does it with Wikipedia.  There is this button on the main page of Wikipedia called “Random Article.”  He pushes it to see where it takes him and then he just goes deeper into the rabbit hole hopping from one article to the next and clicking on links within them.  It’s good for our brains to think of fresh concepts.  Reading new things, trying new activities, tasting new foods all help stimulate your brain and, in my case, fight off the Plague of the Mommy Brain.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know myself well enough to know that my In Box is going to get out of control again and my house will be in shambles come the next hiccup in our daily lives.  But, for now, I want to admit to myself that cleaning up, clearing out, and reading fresh ideas really does do me, and I imagine you too, a world of good!

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FFF: Freegal & Fregal

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

Due to Halloween, November 1st always sneaks up on me.  My brother-in-law can vouch for this, as we have missed his November 1st birthday more times than I care to admit. With Halloween now behind us though and Thanksgiving and Christmas before us, this month’s double find should come in handy.  It’s all about finding deals!

The original plan was to tell you about this program, Freegal Music, that thousands of libraries participate in.  It is a downloadable music service through your library. All you need is your library card number and some libraries utilize a PIN. Freegal has about 3 million songs in their database.  Plus, there is no software to download and there are no digital rights management (DRM) restrictions.  Freegal is limited to patrons of subscribing libraries, so you’ll have to go on to Freegal Music and see if your library is one of them.

Once you have set up your account, they also have an app that you can add to your phone so that you can have your music on multiple devices.  One drawback is that you are only allotted 3 downloads per week.  It explains more about the logistics on their website, so if it’s something that interests you, go check it out!

Now for my bonus First Friday Find (FFF)!  As I was typing in the website for Freegal Music, a typo led me to a SUPER cool website called Fregal.com.  There is not an About section on the site, but it’s pretty straight forward.  It’s a blog with post after post of free deals and savings.  In the last week alone, there are posts on how to get a free Shutterfly photobook, free 8×10 collage print at Walgreens, a free kids meal at Outback Steakhouse, and more.  There is also a search field in the sidebar along with a categories section to help expedite your savings search.

So go grab yourself some free music, start playing it, and peruse fregal.com to find some amazing holiday deals!  Happy free shopping!

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Meaningful Traditions

~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

I am a big supporter of traditions.  My Mom did an amazing job of having all sorts of fun things to look forward to at various times of year.  One of my favorites was our first day of school tradition.  When our first day ended, we would return home to the delicious smell of homemade chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven.  Those chocolate chip cookies were amazing.  My Mom used the Nestle Toll House recipe.  However, she must have added a heavy dose of Love in there, as they never taste as good when I try to replicate them.  Regardless of my abilities, I make chocolate chip cookies for my girls every year for their first day of school.

Another tradition that has been carried on in our home due to it’s memorable role in my childhood is my Mom’s Halloween Sugar Cookies.  I still have the cookie cutter she used.  It’s such a pain to use since it’s not just an outline cut-out.  It’s a cookie cutter that pushes in a darling little pumpkin face, which then gets covered up by frosting.  It’s such a shame that nobody can see the detail of the cutout, but I still use it because my Mom did.  I also still use raisins to make the Jack-o-Lantern face since that’s what my Mom used.  Even though most people prefer and suggest that I use chocolate chips instead, I stick with tradition.  I really am painfully loyal to the tradition.

That all being said, I think it’s important that we reevaluate the traditions we carry on in our lives.  I make my Mom’s sugar cookies using her cutout for half of the batch and then finish the dough off making cookies that are smaller and easier to produce.  I honor the tradition but I also strive to prevent the tradition from overwhelming me to the point of unnecessary stress.
Sometimes we risk traditions losing their meaning when we get carried away with them.  I’m not sure who is to blame for this epidemic of quantity and perfection over meaning and reflection when it comes to traditions.  My guess would be that Pinterest had a hand in it.  While I am a supporter of Pinterest, I fear many women feel this need to do every tradition, craft, and holiday treat posted on there.  I often become a victim myself.  I almost have to avoid Pinterest completely during the holidays to protect myself from feeling like a failure of a Mom for not doing Elf on a Shelf, the Advent Calendar, Gingerbread Houses, homemade Christmas ornaments, Secret Santa, Caroling, the 12 Days of Christmas, and the like in the course of 25 days.  I love traditions, especially the Christmas ones, but sometimes I feel like we overdo it and lose the spirit of the season or tradition.
Let me reiterate that I truly cherish traditions.  I baked the Halloween cookies, we took the kids to a real Pumpkin Patch (a first for me), we carved pumpkins, and we’ll be dining on chili, cornbread, and hot dogs tomorrow evening, per tradition.  I love providing meaningful traditions for my children.

 

But I wanted to remind readers, and myself, that we don’t have to do it all to prove ourselves in anyway.  Sometimes beginning involves minimizing and being okay with ourselves for knowing our limits.  I think Elf on a Shelf is a darling idea, but if I add that to my list of traditions, my children are going to wake up to one angry elf everyday in December.
As we continue through this fun holiday season, remember it’s okay to have your child come home with 20+ holiday goodie bags that other Moms made for the class when your accomplishment for the day consisted of getting your child to school with a warm jacket on.  Embrace the traditions that have real meaning to you and your family.  Begin letting go of the excess and treasure the simple traditions that beget warm memories rather than stress.
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Saving by Serving

~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

When my eldest was born, I experienced a level of service rendered towards me that I was not familiar with previously.  It was the blessing of a home cooked meal brought by friends three times a week for nearly a month.  I was not accustomed to such a service.  Now, years later, we have been the recipients of countless meals in our family’s time of need.

This came to the forefront of my mind as we were, again, blessed with dinners brought in by friends. I had an unexpected hospital stay last week due to pneumonia.  As word spread that I was in the hospital, the well wishes, prayers, offered meals, and requested visits rolled in.  I felt so much love.  I even had one friend visit me in the hospital and insist on massaging my hands with lotion while she chatted with me.  I would have been perfectly content with her company, but her tender service warmed my heart that much more.

It got me thinking about how when I bring a dinner or share one of my husband’s baked goods (yes, my husband bakes), it feels like such an insignificant thing.  But when I’m on the receiving end, I am immensely overwhelmed by the love and blessing that comes with that service.  The same goes for any service, really.

Years ago, my husband and I were struggling financially and we were sitting at the table one night trying to figure out how to make our food go further for the week before pay day hit.  At that same moment, my neighbor texted me to tell me she had a coupon for $20 of groceries that was going to expire that night.  She was not going to use it and offered it to me.  I’ve often reflected on this event as a testimony that our Heavenly Father knows our every need and the blessings that come from service.  A simple service where one person hands over a coupon that they will not use to the person that stands in need of that very thing.

How many times, I wonder, do we think of such services and then get wrapped up in our daily lives and forget where our hands and heart are needed?

Before you spiral downward thinking that you are not being as service-minded as you’d like, think of those small acts of service that go a long way.  Giving a smile provides aid to the lonely and giving a call lends hope to the downtrodden.  I had a door opened for me once that still has an impact on me.  A teenage boy was visiting outside with his friends and saw me through the window about to come out of the restaurant.  He had no need to come in to the restaurant I was at.  He merely saw my need, as I struggled with my son’s stroller, opened the door and returned to his conversation with his friends.  A simple service where this boy looked beyond himself.

I hope to raise my children in such a way that they too will recognize the world around them and how they can help.  As I was giving thought to how to go about doing this, I came across two ideas that seemed to be the key to rearing service-minded children.  First, expose them to service opportunities in the community.

When I was in high school, I was one of the officers in the Interact Club; an extra-curricular club based on serving the community.  We had a couple activities that made an impact on my view of the world, but there is one in particular that stands out.  We were assigned to hand out food to those in need at a local church parking lot.  It was a drive-thru process and each station had a food group where volunteers would place food in to the cars of those less-fortunate.  Naively, I was unaware that so many in the community were dependent on that free food.  That act of service taught me about what I truly have in life and what I have to give.  We can give of our time, certainly, but we can also give of our sustenance, our joy, and our love.  Serving in the community helps us to better understand all that we have and where we are needed.

Another way for our children to learn about the blessing of service is the same as it is for any virtue: lead by example.  I learned the great value of a meal being brought in by those who served me.  I learned that receiving a cooler filled with snacks, drinks, and toys for your young child when your Mom is dying is surprisingly perfect.  I learned that a surprise treat of any size or kind at your door brings uncontrollable joy in the hearts of all those in the home, particularly the children.  I learned that special mail deliveries can cheer up even the saddest of hearts.  I learned that an unexpected “kidnapping” of your kids so they can have a playdate with friends while you’re stuck home on bed rest will move you to tears of gratitude.  And I learned that dollar store care packages are worth much more than the money spent to put them together.  I learned these things because others set the example for me.

I am still learning and feel humbled by the myriad of services that have been rendered on my family’s behalf.  It may not seem like much when you’re on the giving end.  It may seem like just a meal, or just a note, or just a smile, or just a bag of hand-me-downs, but I can assure you, from the recipient’s stand point, you are saving the world one kind deed at a time.

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Three Quick Tips

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

When I left you last, I was suffering from cabin fever due to my middle one’s illness.  Her illness led to an ear infection, which led to a ruptured eardrum.  Ouch, right?  The day she started to feel better is the day that I got sick and was down for the count.  Needless to say, our home has not been running on all cylinders.  My brain is only now starting to turn the gears.  As a result, this week’s post is a quick one about some tips I’ve found useful.

1.  SET AN ALARM – I have an alarm on my phone to wake me up, take medicine/vitamins, pick-up the kids from school, a separate alarm to remind me of early release day, and an alarm to remind me of the one morning that my eldest attends Chorus.  These alarms have saved me from panic mode and help keep me on track.  It makes for a smoother transition from one activity to the next.

2.  MAKE A LIST – Better yet, get these two free apps to organize your lists for you: Out of Milk and Task List.  These two gems are the only reason any task was completed upon emerging from my painful fog.

Out of Milk is where I keep my four shopping lists.  I have one for Costco, Groceries, Trader Joe’s, and a Target/Wal-Mart combo.  This makes my shopping trips more efficient, helps with the budgeting process, and makes sure no item gets forgotten.  Just add the item as soon as you think of it.  If you’re like me, you’ll forget it if you don’t write it/type it somewhere.  Another plus of this app is that it shows all the local grocer deals.

I already shared my love for Task List in my previous post Six Ways to Get Motivated, so I won’t bore you with details again.  However, I was reminded this past week how valuable this app is.  My lists were made during my countless hours on the couch and then carried out the moment I started to feel well enough to be up and about.  My day yesterday was immensely productive thanks to my husband and my plan of attack already being laid out before me.

If you want to get really crazy, combine tip one with tip two.  Task List allows you to set reminder alarms for items that need to get done by a particular time.  These apps keep me organized and keep me moving.

3.  ORGANIZE DIGITAL PHOTOS BY DATE – This one is a random tip, but it has been so valuable over the years.  I saw my friend’s digital pictures sorted on her computer one time and I nearly died at how perfectly organized she had them.  She has always been the epitome of an organized person.  She has packing lists for moving a home that will make your brain implode.  Thankfully, the digital picture organizing she does is much simpler.

You start with your basic Pictures folder under Libraries on your computer.  Then create a folder for the year you’re in or the year the pictures were taken.  Inside the year folder, create 12 sub-folders, one for each month. I label these Jan-13, Feb-13, Mar-13, and so on.  Within your monthly sub-folders, name unique folders based on your personal activities.  For instance, in my Dec-12 folder (indicating December of 2012), I have folders named Sledding, Christmas Decorations (this is where I kept pictures of my family decorating the tree), Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day.

Each of my month sub-folders include two catch-all sub-folders.  One is called Hangin’ Out and the other is called Out and About.  These are the folders for the onesie twosie shots I snap while my kids are either happily playing at the park or snuggling up on the couch.  I don’t want to have 100 folders set aside for each snapshot I take of life nor do I want to omit sub-folders completely as it just makes finding the right picture over-whelming.

This might not seem like an earth-shattering tip, but it’s amazing how much it has helped me over the years.  For instance, I was easily able to grab the three pictures below showing each of my children at approximately 1 year and 3 months old by doing a quick chronological search of my digital pictures.  How fun to see the comparison so quickly!

 

So, there you have it!  Three tips to make your life a little easier.  The whole point of this blog is to help each of us begin moving forward.  Hopefully these tips will make the arduous task of beginning more efficient.

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Second Chances

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

I’ve had a rough couple of days.  I don’t do well when stuck indoors for long periods of time, which has been the case lately.  Cabin fever sinks in quickly with me.  I also don’t do well with a toddler screaming every time that I don’t hold him and every time he does not get what he wants.  Add on that my middle one is sick, my daughters are having nightmares due to the season of beheaded zombies hanging from porches, and my husband has been working literally day and night for the past six days.  Sleep has eluded me.

I can’t help but hear Claire Foster’s line in Date Nightwhen she is confessing to her husband that she fantasizes more about being alone than leaving him for another man, “There are times when, on my worst day, I’ve thought about just leaving our house and going someplace, like checking into a hotel. Being in a room all by myself, in a quiet, air-conditioned room, sitting down, eating my lunch, with no one touching me—drinking a diet Sprite, by myself.”  Insert Dr. Pepper for Diet Sprite and she’s described what I long to do on days like yesterday.

Checking in to a hotel would have been much better than the breakdown I had yesterday morning when my husband was finally off from his 16-hour shift at work.  The worst part is that I selfishly was upset over my circumstances and here my husband had just worked a 16-hour shift of running around physically caring for people.  I was acting like a brat, honestly.  Still my husband kindly took my ever-screaming son and let me go and cry.  That’s love right there.  Just a few minutes to cry in peace with no one touching me.

Crying helped, as it sometimes does.  I still felt pretty pathetic though for being such a ninny about my plight instead of tending to my husband’s well-being.  Sometimes we have really bad days at work and they last longer than we’d like.  That happened to be the case for both of us this time.  He handled it gracefully, I handled it poorly.

Later, I was listening to a song called Second Chances by Gregory Alan Isakov off of his album The Weathermanand this one line hit home, “if it weren’t for second chances, we’d all be alone.”  How many second chances has my husband given me and I him, I wonder?  These last few days have been a series of second chances.

I’ve had a second chance at putting my daughter’s minds to rest before they fall asleep, a second chance to figure out how to properly discipline my son for his uncharacteristically difficult behavior, a second chance to look at my husband’s needs and sacrifices on our family’s behalf, and a second chance to not beat myself up over every time I guiltily wanted to walk out the door for even a couple minutes of peace from the chaos.

I hear all the time that I should cherish this time, as it will go quickly.  I already know it goes quickly.  I already miss the days that my eldest was a tiny baby.  I do my best to treasure every moment with my children, as I have known people that have lost their kids unexpectedly.  The very thought of losing my children makes me physically ill.  But is it really so bad to want the moments of yanking and pulling, incessant screaming, and blatant disobedience to move by a little faster?  I hate that I feel guilty for not enjoying these moments like I’m “supposed” to.

Life is such a conundrum, isn’t it?  I remember when my Mom first passed away, I wanted time to speed up so that I could be old and die and be with her again, while I simultaneously wanted life to slow down so I could take in every new baby smell and giggle from my girls.  I suppose the same goes for the action of cherishing this time with my kids.  I want the tantrums to speed by and the precious moments shown below to stand still in time.

Thankfully, my children, just as my husband, give me second chances.  They forgive me for all the wrong choices that I make, my unnecessarily raised voice, and my blindness to times that they just want my full attention and nothing more.  As Amy Krouse Rosenthal writes in her children’s book One Of Those Days, “Luckily, every single one of those days eventually turns into night.  And every single night turns into a brand-new day.”

So, here’s to a new day of second chances!  Without them, we’d all be alone.

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