It’s Time for Work!

July 10, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

I strive to be as open and honest about my bouts with depression and anxiety, in hopes that my candidness may help someone else who feels they are suffering alone. Even though the rational side of me is well aware that others suffer similarly, there are times when I feel isolated in my struggle with mental illness. Fortunately, I am not enduring a drastic low right now. However, my anxiety has been a constant battle as of late. The most common anxiety indicator for me is chest pain. It’s hard to describe the physical feeling, as the chest pain manifests differently depending on what type of stress I’m trying to cope with. For instance, the chest pain that comes from a large grocery bill when I know money is tight, is different from the pain that comes from feeling overwhelmed emotionally with personal matters. With an upcoming move, it seems I’m having to endure both types. Moves are expensive and emotionally draining, am I right? This is why I need to rely on this quote I found by the late Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Gordon B. Hinckley, which reads, “The best antidote for worry is work. The best medicine for despair is service. The best cure for weariness is to help someone even more tired.” Reading this made me think, “it’s time for work!”

I realize that I’ve discussed anxiety and not worry, but many feel they go hand in hand. I look at worry as anxiety’s intern. Worry is more controlled than anxiety. Worry feels like something I can reason with and overcome. Anxiety feels like this beast that takes over me. While worry seems more manageable than anxiety, my guess is that they can both be eradicated with work. So, that’s what I’m going to do: work. Thankfully, I have plenty of opportunities to work, as boxes don’t pack themselves.

While, I don’t feel like I’m struggling with despair, I have still witnessed the great blessings that come from forgetting myself and serving others. I’ve also noticed, being the wife of an ER Nurse, that my burdens seem to pale in comparison when I hear what others are enduring at the hospital. There is always someone who is in greater need of comfort and service. My desire is to increase my efforts to work and serve, and realize that those efforts will only bring about good.

And in those moments, when the days work is done but my mind does not seem to agree, I will try a little trick I discovered the last time I struggled greatly with anxiety. Instead of thinking of all the “what ifs,” I will focus my mind on positive memories. At these times, I like to recall memories of my mom. I look at the memories as real and solid. The future is made up of unknowns and the memories are fact. Sometimes, the best way to stop fretting, is to remind yourself of all the goodness that has been your reality thus far in life.

With that being said, it’s time for work!

First Friday Find: Roasted Marshmallow Strawberries

July 3, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

Our Summer is flying by, and it’s hard to imagine that we’re already celebrating the Fourth of July tomorrow. Being that it’s the first Friday of the month and such a fun time to be outdoors with friends, I thought I would share a yummy campfire dessert. I’ve known about it for a while, but it wasn’t until we were camping over Memorial Weekend that I realized many had not heard of this treat. So, I feel it’s my civic duty to share this First Friday Find: Roasted Marshmallow Strawberries dessert with you all.

One of our wonderful babysitters falling prey to this delightful dessert.

It’s a simple dessert. You only need four things: strawberries, Jet Puffed Marshmallow Creme Spread, a holder, and a fire source. I prefer a campfire for the latter, but you could easily roast these delectable desserts over a stove. Also, it might be easier to have a spoon or knife to help with the application of the marshmallow creme. First, grab the best strawberry in the bunch. Second, apply marshmallow creme. Third, place concoction on the end of your preferred holder device. Next, roast the awesomeness over a fire. If you like your ‘mallow burnt, that’s all you! When it comes to S’mores, I do enjoy my ‘mallow burnt. However, with this dessert, I enjoy it best when it’s lightly roasted. Lastly, partake of the deliciousness that is this month’s First Friday Find: Roasted Marshmallow Strawberries. You’re welcome.

In closing, I would be amiss if I did not express the deep gratitude I have to live in this great nation. It truly is the home of the free, because of the brave. Happy Independence Day weekend to you all! May you enjoy the blessings of celebrating it with your community and recognizing that we are all in this together!

Screen Time Guilt

June 26, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

My three-year-old had his annual check-up a few months ago and they handed me a form to fill out about his development. I knew they would have a question about his amount of screen time and I knew I did not want to answer it honestly. The question was specifically worded like this, “Do you limit screen time for your child?” My husband was next to me, as I was filling out the form. He said, “Nope.” I said, “Yes, I do.” Granted, I don’t limit it as much as I should, but if I have to hear twenty billion times a day, “Can I watch TV?” then that means I have taken some measures to limit it. Of course, we still got “the speech” about too much screen time from our pediatrician, since I fessed up that it was more than 2 hours a day. I get it. I really do. Too much screen time is bad for our children (and ourselves), but I’m tired of the screen time guilt I feel every time I say ‘yes’ to the TV or iPad. Frankly, I’m tired of the guilt that I feel for every shortcoming I have as a mother.

Here’s the deal. I’m working on my 50 Fabulous Summer Bucket List Items along with the twenty additional ones I have that are location specific, and we are flying through them. We’ve been to a rodeo, had a water balloon fight with some 30+ kids, gone on several picnics, gone camping, visited a fish hatchery, attempted letter-boxing (couldn’t find it), gone on a surrey ride as a family, had a lemonade stand and a garage sale, hosted a talent show with friends, drawn sidewalk chalk drawings, played board games, gone to our local outdoor swim facility, eaten snow cones, taken a trip to a local lake, played at a water splash pad, been working on our library’s reading program, gone to the $1 movies at Regal Cinemas (saw Annie, which was really quite enjoyable), gone swimming at a friend’s pool, built an indoor fort, and my daughters are in the middle of writing and illustrating their own stories, among other things. Yet still, they probably average 4-5 hours of screen time everyday. Depending on when they wake up, they sometimes get two hours of TV time before I’ve even rolled out of bed. It’s terrible, I get that. But I feel like a Cruise Entertainment Director and sometimes I just need my kids to sit and chill and not fight. So, why must I feel the screen time guilt every time that happens?

Is there an escape from said guilt? Because I imagine even if I just let them veg out with a screen for only two hours, I would still feel guilt for those two hours. I feel guilt every time that I am not 100% engaged with my children. I’m really good at this whole guilt thing, apparently. I get that I am going to miss these days. Actually, my eldest is already old enough that I do miss those days when she was a baby and it was just her, and she was my shopping partner and listening ear when I talked to myself in the stores about the products I planned on buying. I already miss her chubby little hands that looked like they had been screwed on her arms since she had a huge crease between the two. I already miss how she would say “Hokey Pokey” instead of Pinocchio. You see, I get that time flies. It’s racing faster than I can process. But sometimes, time drags. It drags on those days when I just don’t feel well, when my husband works long hours for days on end, or when my children bicker endlessly. And on those days, which is most days at least one point in the day, screen time sounds lovely.

All that being said, I do turn off the TV and make my kids go fight about what to play with each other. Even worse, I make them clean up their messes. Their messes that obviously prove they are not having screen time all day or else the messes wouldn’t be there in the first place, right? My house is too much of a disaster from children’s items for my kids lives to be entirely dedicated to screens. Is it odd that the mess gives me a bit of relief as it is an indicator that my children still know how to imagine and create? Or the paper scraps? Oh my heavens! The paper scraps around my house. I’m convinced there is a forest missing somewhere due to my girls alone, and yet the screen time guilt remains. You see it doesn’t seem to matter how much I do to keep my kids busy or what they do to keep themselves busy, at the end of the day, I just seem to focus on the hours of screen time they should not have had.

The real reason that screen time guilt hits me, is because I know they’re missing out on stuff, just like I’m missing out on stuff when I spend hours checking (and re checking) social media. I get that we have less time to engage with one another when I so quickly say ‘yes’ to screen time. One Sunday, a couple of weeks ago, I was frustrated as I looked around and noticed that every family member, aside from my baby, was on a screen. That’s not the type of life I want to live either, y’know? I made everybody get off their screens and talk to each other. I realize that I don’t do that enough. And that is where the guilt comes from.

So, dear readers, help me out. How do I rid myself of screen time guilt for the times that we all just want to veg? And how do I better moderate the screen time use so that we don’t miss living life to the fullest? Before I open myself up to judgment, please consider that my baby still takes two naps a day and my three-year-old cannot engage with someone else without screaming at the top of his lungs at some point, whether it be in frustration or happiness. He is loud. So, half the time the TV is on as a tool to keep him quiet and the baby sleeping.

My daughter’s annual check-up was just last week and I had to answer the same question. This time, I told the pediatrician, “She is on a screen more than she should be and less than she wants to be.” That answer didn’t suffice the doctor either. I was given “the speech” again. At the next check-up, I want to answer the question with more honesty and less guilt. Can I have both without removing all screens from our home?

Feeling Uniquely Wonderful

June 18, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

As it states in my About Me section, “I receive daily opportunities to debunk my irrational thoughts and live to the measure of my full potential.” This past Sunday was one of those days, when I noticed a trait in a friend that I wanted to work on in my life. She is a woman I know through church. Joy is written in her countenance and it’s amplified through her energetic smile and engaging eyes. When speaking with her, it’s clear I have her full attention. Not only do I have her full attention, but she appears genuinely interested in what I have to say. Even more than that, she showers me in compliments when it seems there is nothing compliment-able about me. In short, she makes me feel like I’m the coolest person in the world every single time I talk to her. I admit, it’s pretty good on the ego. Here’s the catch though, if I were to ask someone else if this friend left them feeling uniquely wonderful as well, they would all answer yes. So, does this mean that she is not sincere? The sincerity of such a friend, has always left me in question. If someone makes everyone feel like they’re the coolest person ever, who really is the coolest person ever? I think I finally found the answer to my internal debate this past Sunday, when I came home from church feeling uniquely wonderful.

Before I share my answer, I think it’s important to give some background information so that you know that I truly have struggled with this for years. It all started with my Grandpa. Every time that I arrived in my grandparents’ home, I would give both my Nana and Grandpa a hug. And every time I hugged my Grandpa, I would ask him how he was. And every time I asked him, he would always respond, “I’m better now.” Every time. I immediately felt like I had made my Grandpa’s day. He was better because I was there. It took years before I realized that he said that to everyone that went up and hugged him and asked how he was. Everybody made him better.

But, how could that be? Wasn’t I the best? That’s probably the real issue in this debate, is that I somehow need to know where I land in the ranks of someone’s love and devotion. Somewhere along the way, I came to believe that if I was not the best, then I wasn’t really enough at all. Woah. There’s a personal realization that I wasn’t expecting to stumble across while writing this post. I digress.

So, my Grandpa was the first person I noticed that has this ability, and my church friend is the most recent. But there are others that I have crossed paths with that have this knack. I’m sure you can think of such a person in your own life. They’re the type of person that makes everyone they come across feel perfectly okay being exactly who they are. They celebrate you every time they are around you so that you walk away feeling uniquely wonderful.

As I’ve come in contact with more of these people, I’ve decided that they are completely sincere. My Grandpa really does feel better with each embrace he receives from a loved one. My friend genuinely enjoys when I teach a class at church. Other friends with this gift, really do find me enjoyable to be around. They don’t say these things just to say them. They see the positive in people. They recognize the joy that others feel when they know they’re loved and appreciated. They, in turn, feel joy knowing they have brightened another’s day by expressing their uplifting remarks.

As often is the case, I have discovered something about myself through the exercise of writing a post. Where I was originally planning to share how I would like to become better at uplifting others, as these type of people do, I now want to remove this subconscious thought process of ranking myself in other’s eyes. For instance, let’s say that someone tells me that I’m a good cook (keep your laughter to a minimum, please) and I hear that same person tell another person that they’re a good cook. Can we not both be good cooks? What is it about me that needs to know what level of “good cook” I am versus the other person? Oy vey. I’m flashing back to my post Stop Comparing and Reclaim Joy where I referenced Theodore Roosevelt’s quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This need to compare and rank truly is the thief of joy. It’s caused me to take the kind remarks from a friend and question their sincerity and my worth. How sad is that?

Well, it seems as though I’ve got a bit of debunking to do, if I want to rid myself of this ridiculous need to rank my level of awesomeness in the eyes of each person I meet. If I do slip up and get this insatiable urge to rank myself, perhaps I’ll have enough wisdom to recognize that I am #1 to one spectacular husband and four incredible children! It really is no wonder I struggle with insecurity when I’m subconsciously filing myself in a particular category for each person that I know. Oh man. Why do I feel like I’ve opened a can of worms with this realization?

Before I freak out anymore, let me answer the question I originally posed, “If someone makes everyone feel like they’re the coolest person ever, who really is the coolest person ever?” My answer: All of us. All of us have the right to be around people who leave us feeling uniquely wonderful. And my heart’s desire is to make sure I am better about leaving people feeling just that way. I’m certain that the more I accept the compliments given to me as being sincere and the more I strive to show my love and appreciation for others, the better suited I will be to live to the measure of my full potential.

Envisioning the Potential

June 10, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

A few weeks back, I had the opportunity to hangout with some friends at a local park while our kiddos played. I got to chatting with one friend who enjoys refinishing furniture. At the time, she was in the middle of working on a family heirloom hutch. I was sharing with her how impressed I was that she was able to undertake such a task. I explained how terrible I am at envisioning an object being transformed into something better. She responded saying, “That surprises me based on the nature of your blog.” Her comment led me to ask myself, “Why can I envision improving myself, but not envision furniture becoming something better?” The answer came quickly, “I’m not good at envisioning the potential when the gap between the ‘beginning’ and the ‘end’ is too wide.”

I did my best to explain myself to her. I told her about 2004 Sara, Present Sara, and Future Sara. If you had told 2004 Sara that she would have four children, be happily married, have endured severe depression along with the loss of her mom, and would be living in Oregon, she would have scoffed. Just as, if you were to tell Present Sara that Future Sara will be physically fit and traveling the world, it would fall on deaf ears. You see, envisioning the potential, when huge strides are involved, is not my forte. I hope to be physically healthy, but I don’t really see it happening. Isn’t that terrible? If I’m honest with myself, it just seems like this unattainable goal. I can swallow the idea of taking baby steps to being marginally healthier (Hence, the one burger a week goal mentioned in Who Do I Want to Be?), but the idea of being my ideal weight just seems far-fetched at this point. Perhaps my lack of ability to envision such a Future Sara is what keeps me from becoming her? I certainly know that my lack of envisioning the promising potential of junky old furniture has prevented me from purchasing such a piece. This is why my friend’s remark has really left me contemplating my belief in a person being transformed. I know it’s possible, as I’ve seen it in certain aspects of my life, but that’s only when I look at things in hindsight. Apparently, I have greater difficulty envisioning the potential of Future Sara. This brings me to another discussion I had with my husband.

My friend's refinished family heirloom hutch completed. — My friend’s refinished family heirloom hutch.

My husband and I were discussing the opportunities we have to fulfill a greater purpose in our lives than we are now. Let’s use my lofty Life Bucket List as an example. There are items on there that require money, a physically fit Future Sara, and some untapped adventure, among other things. And, if you recall, I have a longer Life Bucket List that has an additional 20 items that I did not make public. This master list has items that are more spiritual in nature. So, in discussing this matter with my husband, I brought up my conversation with said friend at the park. I likened myself to an old junky piece of furniture and a refinished piece of furniture. I explained to him that I just can’t see how junky-old Present Sara can turn into refinished Future Sara. He responded wisely, as he often does.

::COMMERCIAL BREAK:: We have an upcoming move that leaves us in need of multiple furniture items. Seeing as how we know a few people who are savvy at refinishing furniture, we thought we would call upon their talents. The plan was that we would find a cheap piece, tell said talented friends what we want, and pay them for their services. Are you proud of me for attempting such a task, as it contradicts everything I have typed thus far? One of the friends, who plans to help us, mentioned that when searching for a dresser, we need to make sure the drawers slide appropriately. Apparently, having to fix drawers makes the project more costly and complicated. It’s not impossible, just more difficult. ::NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING::

So, my husband explains to me how I have it all wrong. He informs me that when likening myself to the refinished furniture analogy, I’ve put myself in the equation incorrectly. I was looking at it as though I had to refinish Present Sara and turn her into refinished Future Sara. It turns out, I’m not the refinisher AND the junky old furniture piece. I’m just the furniture piece and our Heavenly Father and Savior are the ones helping to refinish me, according to my husband. Then he says (and this is why I gave you the COMMERCIAL BREAK above), “All you have to do is slide your drawers, Sara.” My part in the analogy is to be sturdy and keep those drawers sliding smoothly. And I believe that wholeheartedly. His explanation, along with that first conversation in the park, has helped me realize that I can be a refinished Future Sara and I don’t have to go at it alone.

You’ll notice in the COMMERCIAL BREAK that neither my husband nor I are planning to refinish the furniture ourselves. We recognize that there are others in our midst that have a passion for this hobby. We’re just going to find the furniture that is sturdy and fits our needs. In short, we’re getting help, just as we do in our own lives. We don’t get to a better version of ourselves entirely on our own. We become someone greater through experiences that strengthen us, people who encourage us, testimonies that build us, opportunities that surprise us, and a loving Heavenly Father who guides us. Don’t misunderstand me, we have our part as well. I don’t intend to sit here ideally and wait to be transformed into something grand. I’m just learning that I don’t have to know exactly how I’ll get from Present Sara to Future Sara, but I do have to believe that it’s possible.

My original purpose for this blog was to share insights I’ve had that have helped me become a better person. I continue to receive these little pieces of enlightenment in my life that I hope might inspire someone else to believe in themselves more. Clearly, I have much to learn in the way of envisioning the potential I have to truly be what I hope to become. I need to have as much faith in myself as my Father in Heaven and Savior do. Even having as much faith in myself as my husband has in me would be a significant increase from where I’m at now. This is not easy for me. The Unlikely Perfectionist speaks to this weakness of mine. I get overwhelmed by this idea of refinished Future Sara and I panic. Turning into her is just too hard, so it seems easier to stay as junky-old Present Sara. I’m still sturdy and sliding my drawers, but I’ve yet to allow the refinishing process make me something even more beautiful. It’s time to begin. Having this analogy in my arsenal has already given me greater hope. I don’t have to do it alone.

Whether you are a person of faith, or not, this analogy applies to us all. We all can be refinished. We all have this great potential that is waiting to shine through. Some of our drawers may be broken and might need more TLC? Perhaps we’re not as sturdy as we’d like to be? The refinishing process, whether it be a Higher Being or a higher purpose that helps transform you, can include repairs. I know I’ve already had quite a few repair jobs done. I feel emotionally healthy enough to say that I’m sturdy and I’m doing my best to “slide [my] drawers.” I’m ready to get to the sanding and staining portion? Is that what you do to refinish furniture? I don’t even know. And, thankfully, I don’t have to know.

What I do have to know is that I have great potential and that potential is attainable. I have to believe that with the help of loved ones, experiences, my faith, and a greater understanding of my worth, I can be refinished. So, here’s to envisioning the potential I have to be refined.

And, here's to a loving husband who always believes in me. — And, here’s to a loving husband who always believes in me.

First Friday Find: Relative Finder

June 5, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

It probably does not come as any surprise to my readers that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (more commonly known as Mormon or LDS). Genealogy work is an important aspect of our religion, as we take seriously the words spoken in Malachi 4:6, “And [Elijah the prophet] shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” As a result, Brigham Young University (BYU) recently launched a program that links up with FamilySearch that’s called Relative Finder. Through this month’s First Friday Find: Relative Finder, you can find your relationship to many different groups of people already built-in the program.

On the left is my Great Grandmother, who we called Bobo, in her basketball uniform.

Since the creators of the program are LDS, many of the groups are LDS related, such as finding out if you’re related to prophets, current apostles, and/or early LDS members. However, you can also find out if you’re related to famous writers, prominent figures in U.S. history, famous Americans or Europeans, classical composers, Catholic Saints or Popes, Mayflower voyagers, those involved in the Salem Witch Trials, and more. It turns out that my genealogy links me heavily to the Salem Witch Trials. Me and hysteria? Sounds about right. I kid. Have no fear, I am also related to John Hancock, who is my third cousin, seven times removed. He redeems me, right? Or Susan B. Anthony? Amelia Earhart? Thomas Edison? I’m related to them all. Granted, Edison and I go back nine cousins, three times removed, but I can still call him “cuz.” And so can my Dad, since Relative Finder tells me which of my parents connects me to the prominent figure. I think my most fun relatives though are probably Elvis Aaron Presley (he’s my 11th cousin) and Harry Lillis (Bing) Crosby (my tenth cousin, three times removed).

So, how do you find out the prominent people who you’re related to? Follow these steps:

Go to the Relative Finder website.
Click on Login.
Enter your Username and Password for FamilySearch. Anyone can sign up for one of these accounts and start linking up with ancestors.
Once you are logged into Relative Finder, it will ask you to verify your email address and then have you mark that you give permission for others to see your information, but only if you sign in to specific groups that have permission to see it.
Click on Download my tree! You will then see a list of ancestors who are famous in some way, either in the world or in Church history.
Click on Relatives along the top. You can then click on various groups of people and see who your ancestors are in those groups.

It’s that simple. Of course, it’s not that simple, if you don’t have much of your genealogy work done. But, what you might not realize is that others may have done your work up to a certain point. So, if you can create an account in Family Search and link yourself back to somebody that has done the work from, let’s say, your great great grandfather and back, then you get all that information added to you without having to have done a thing except create a Username and Password.

So, this month’s First Friday Find: Relative Finder is a find within a find! This leaves me with a question for all of you, “Who are your relatives?”

Second Anniversary Giveaway

May 26, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend. Ours was certainly a beautiful one! It started off rainy, but quickly turned to blue skies and sunshine. It was a lovely weekend to be outdoors. And that’s what I want to share today for First You Must Begin’s Second Anniversary Giveaway: the outdoors. Particularly, an 11×14 matte print of a picture that my brother, _stevenwilson, captured off the Southern California Coast. This one is called “Blue Barrel,” and it’s one of my favorites!

You may recall, that I did a post about _stevenwilson and his amazing ocean photography for a First Friday Find earlier this month. His work is so breathtaking, that I thought it would be the perfect thing to give away for my Second Anniversary of First You Must Begin. Especially since my brother’s artwork is a perfect example about beginning something new. Two years ago, when I started this blog, my brother wasn’t even posting pictures of ocean photography. Now, due to his desire to embark into the world of ocean photography despite his lack of knowledge, he has grown and developed in the field. He took his love for the ocean and found a way to share it in such a beautiful way. I admire the hard work and dedication that he has put into improving upon his talent. He makes it look easy.

Each of us can begin something new. We can find something within ourselves that we want to improve, we can dedicate ourselves to a new passion, we can work to face our fears, we can strive to live healthier, or we can simply get up and try a little harder than the day before. But, first we must begin. So, here’s a Second Anniversary Giveaway to celebrate all the beginnings in our lives and all the beginnings that continue to blossom into something magnificent.

**Check out the Rafflecopter Giveaway below where you can enter to win an 11×14 matte print of _stevenwilson’s “Blue Barrel.” All you have to do is tell me how you heard about my website, First You Must Begin. The winner will be chosen at random by Rafflecopter a week from today. Good luck!**

a Rafflecopter giveaway
//widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js

50 Fabulous Summer Bucket List Items

May 19, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

For many, Memorial Day Weekend is the kick-off for Summer. School does not get out until mid-June for my kiddos, but that’s not stopping us from getting a head start on some summer fun! This weekend, we’re going on our first camping trip as a family. So, I’m sure you can expect a camping related post in the near future. In the meantime, I am so excited to share with you my 50 Fabulous Summer Bucket List Items to do with your kids!

My personal summer bucket list includes the following 50 items along with 20 more items that are specific to the region where I live. I highly suggest that you take this list and add some of your favorite things to do locally. Most of these were on my list last year, but I’ve added some new ones and removed the ones that were a bust. This will be my third Summer using a bucket list and I can’t wait! My Summers have never been better, since I let a bucket list guide my way. My love of completing lists keeps me motivated to carry out all these items, and makes it a fantastic Summer for all of us!

Find and Follow a YouTube Tutorial – The possibilities are endless. I recently just used a YouTube tutorial to create a low-budget Cleopatra costume for my daughter’s Wax Museum Project at school.
Take a Full Moon Walk (6/2, 7/1, 7/31, 8/29)
Do a Day of Service – Last year we spent the morning serving at a church event, then we took cookies to a Fire Station, and homemade cards to a local Retirement Home. We did this with some friends, which made it that much more fun.
Celebrate a “National” Holiday – National Ice-Cream Day is on Sunday, July 19th, this year. If you’d prefer National Watermelon Day, you can celebrate on Monday, August 3rd. Don’t let me hold you back though, celebrate as many as you want by looking through Foodimentary’s National Food Holidays.
Do Letter Boxing – What a fun activity this was to do last year! I had never done it before. We did it as a family with my BFF, who was visiting from Southern California. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s like going on a treasure hunt. I feel like the Letterboxing websitemay be able to describe it better than I can. We completed two locations. Not only was it fun to follow the clues to the Letterbox, but it was also nice to see the beautiful sites along the way!
Letter Boxing
Attend a County Fair
Participate in a Reading Program – Last year we did the Barnes & Noble Summer Reading Program. Your local library likely has one available as well.
Have a Water Balloon Fight
Go on a Picnic
Make a Popsicle Stick Puzzle
Popsicle Stick Puzzle
Have a Family/Friends Game Night – I may have cheated and had our friends play Pictionary with us (#45 on this list) last Summer, so I could kill two birds with one stone.
Host a Minute to Win It Night – My best suggestion is to hit up Pinterest to decide which games you want to do for this one. We did a few different ones that involved plastic cups so that we could get the most out of the supplies we had available. We also did two activities that used a tissue box. One activity was to see who could empty a tissue box faster removing the tissues one-by-one. Once we had an empty tissue box, we used it for the Junk in the Trunk game. Some of my most hilarious video footage from the Summer was from this night with friends.
Go Camping
Go on a Bike Ride
Wash the Car
Stargaze
Help in the Yard
Have a Lemonade Stand
Play Glow Stick Horseshoes – We played glow stick horseshoes while we waited for the fireworks to start last Fourth of July. As I noted last year, I found this cool activity posted by one of Design Dazzle‘s contributors, Jamie from C.R.A.F.T., titled Summer Camp: Glow In The Dark Ring Toss
Do Sidewalk Chalk Drawings
Write and Illustrate a Story
Host a Talent Show – Hands down my favorite Summer Bucket List Item. I have done this for the past two years. Every family that participates has to have at least one child and one adult perform in the talent show. We use my friend’s sound system, and families bring their chairs, some treats to share, and their talent. We hold it in our backyard and it is such a fun night! You can learn more about this activity by checking out my post The Power of a Bucket List, which also includes my first Summer Bucket List.
Complete a Jigsaw Puzzle
Get a Manicure and Pedicure
Visit the Coast
Read a Book, Then Watch the Movie – As mentioned in last year’s Free Printable Ultimate Summer Bucket List post, Andrea’s Notebook is perfect to make your search easier for the right book-movie. We did Nim’s Island last year, which my kids love. I’m thinking we’ll do Charlotte’s Web this year.
Build an Indoor Fort
Play a Board Game
Make Play Dough – I have not done this before. I’m going to try out a no-cook Play Dough recipe I found on Laughing Kids Learn. This recipe calls for glycerin, which is also found in the Mega Bubbles recipe (#36 on this list). I had no idea where I could buy glycerin last year. I ended up finding it at Walmart in the First Aid aisle.
Sleep Wherever You Want Night – A friend of mine does this in her home sometimes. The kids get to pick where they sleep that night. Sometimes her kids have chosen to sleep in the closet or in an empty bathtub (ouch). Kids just love to try something different.
Pick a Craft to Make and Make It! – I am not crafty, so I was happy that my Mother-in-law took this item on with my girls. They made charms out of clay. She purchased the kit at Barnes and Noble, but I found the same Make Clay Charms byKlutz for cheaper on Amazon.
Clay Charms
Eat a Snow Cone
Have a BBQ with Friends
Watch Fireworks on July 4^th
Attend a Farmer’s Market or Festival
Play with Mega-Bubbles – This one was a blast! An important thing to note is that the mixture needs to sit for at least one hour before use. I didn’t see that until after the kids were already geared up to start making bubbles right away. Take that time into consideration. Also, the more bubbles you make, the easier the mixture gets to use. Last year, I used a Homemade Giant Bubble Recipe I found on the website Happy Hooligans.
Mega Bubbles
Read a Book in the Shade of a Tree
Play Balloon Ping Pong – All you need are spoons, a balloon, and a table.
Balloon Ping Pong
Make a Backyard Obstacle Course – MyBFF and I set up this course for my girls to do, but we took our own turn at it. We each did the course one at a time and timed each other to see who could get through it the fastest.
Backyard Obstacle Course
Go on a Scavenger Hunt – My favorite scavenger hunt to do is one where you have each letter of the alphabet with a blank line following it. This makes it a little more flexible, plus it helps the younger ones work on the letters of the alphabet. For instance, we had spent a couple of days with a scavenger hunt list and we had yet to find something that started with an “O.” We went to watch a movie and during the movie one of my kids spotted an octopus, which gave us our “O” item. I thought this was a fun way to integrate our activities. Last year, we did the same type of scavenger hunt on a road trip to help the drive go smoother.
Do a Science Experiment – Last year, I did a couple of science experiments that didn’t prove as exciting as I had hoped. We did the paper towel/food coloring/water experiment, but it took too long for my kids attention span. I plan to pull from BuzzFeed’s 24 Kids’ Science Experiments That Adults Can Enjoy, Too for this year’s experiment.
Science Experiment
Write & Mail a Letter to Someone
Play Hide and Go Seek
Go on a Date with Daddy
Play Charades or Pictionary – Pictionary seems to be a crowd favorite at any age. The best part is that all you need is a Game Word Generator, a large paper pad, and a pen.
Have a “Late-Over” Night – I’m a “No Sleepover Type Mom.” This is the alternative that I give my kids. All the fun of a sleepover, but the other kids head home around 10 PM.
Have a Tea Party – I have a friend who has four daughters. It’s an absolute blast to co-host this one with her every Summer.
Play at a Water Splash Pad
Go to $1 Movie at Regal Cinemas – The 2015 Summer Movie Express includes nine weeks of kids movies offered for $1/person.
Kids Cook Dinner Night

There you have it, Folks! Please feel free to download the free printable version list of my 50 Fabulous Summer Bucket List Items. Preparing this post has me pumped up for this coming Summer. It was fun to remember all the activities we’ve done since I started this tradition two Summers ago. I can’t wait to see what the Summer of 2015 has in store for us!

Our Parents’ Children

May 13, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 3 Comments

I was reading a book called Defending Jacob by William Landay for book club last month and I came across this line that read, “At some point as adults we cease to be our parents’ children and we become our children’s parents instead.” I wrote it down because I know that it rings true in my life. However, this past weekend, on Mother’s Day, I realized how much I still wanted to be “our parents’ children.”

This Mother’s Day was particularly rough for some reason. I did my best to hold it together. A couple tears were shed here and there in the morning. Then, we went on a little walk as a family with my dad and step-mom in the afternoon. It was then, as I was hugging my dad goodbye, that I lost it. I didn’t want to let my daddy go. It was Mother’s Day and I wanted to be on the kid end of the day. I wanted to celebrate Mother’s Day as a daughter. Thankfully, I was able to hang on to my dad for a bit and cry while my husband took the kids and got them in the car.

Prior to losing my mother, I believed that the pain and emptiness of losing a loved one was due solely to their being gone. I’ve learned that you also end up mourning the role you played in the relationship. I am no longer a daughter to a mom, but fortunately, I still get to be a daughter to a dad. I had never given it much thought until I stumbled upon a book that dealt with grieving. Sadly, I have no recollection of the title or author. What I do remember is that both of the author’s parents had passed away. She spoke to the fact that she was no longer someone’s daughter. I remember standing in the middle of the book store and thinking, “Thank goodness I still get to be a daughter to my dad.” I’m not ready to stop being a parents’ child.

Being a daughter means different things in different families. I played a large role in my mom’s life, as she had not remarried and we had always been particularly close. I did my best to be there for her whenever she needed me. I made her my priority. I don’t say this to boast, but just to express how much my role as a daughter to my mom made up my identity as a whole. Though my relationship with my dad is a strong and healthy one, he remarried after my parents’ divorce and my role as his daughter is less involved. So, while I am still a daughter to my dad, I continue to struggle with understanding the missing piece of me that was devoted to my role as a daughter to my mom.

But, as the quote says, “At some point…we cease to be our parents’ children and we become our children’s parents instead.” That’s certainly the case for me. My role as daughter, whether to my mom or my dad, has taken backseat to my role as parent. It’s a demanding role, that doesn’t leave much room for lack of responsibility and vulnerability. As a mom, I am called upon to be the strong one when my kids face trials or heartbreak. I am the one that is meant to offer comfort. I am the one that is supposed to have my act together. While I am grateful for my role as a mom, I have not lost my desire to be a daughter still.

Sometimes, I just want to be the kid. This past Mother’s Day was one of those days. I wanted to have my dad hug me, tell me he loves me, and assure me that it’s gonna be alright. And he did, as he has done several times in my life.

Our role as a child or a parent is a huge part of our identity. I think my reason for sharing this topic today has more to do with me processing that concept than it is me trying to provide some sort of inspiration. As I mentioned, in losing my mom, I was misled in thinking that my pain came only from the loss of her. When she passed away, I also lost a part of me. Acknowledging that fact and allowing me to mourn that loss, helps me to heal. Thankfully, I still get to be a daughter to my Dad. It’s not just that I still have my Dad around, though that’s a blessing as well, but that I still get to be “our parents’ children.” I can still cry into the shoulder of a parent who has known me all of my life and has watched me grow through all of my trials. I hope that I can be for my kids, what my parents have been for me. As true has Landay’s quote feels, I think I’ve decided I don’t want to cease being “our parents’ children;” I want to be both! I suppose it’s a good thing that I believe in eternal families, as it provides me the opportunity to be both the child and the parent without end.

Everything Happens for a Reason

May 7, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 4 Comments

It’s so cliché, “everything happens for a reason,” isn’t it? But if the saying is a source of comfort and greater understanding, is there such a thing as overuse of the phrase? As I continue to reflect on Mom Season and other events that have brought our family to this point, I continually take comfort in my belief that, inconsequential things aside, everything happens for a reason. Of course, at the time, we don’t always recognize or understand the reasoning behind certain events.

This was the case with an event that took place three years ago this month. It was Memorial Day Weekend and we still lived in Southern California. My husband had already left for his swing shift at the hospital. My cousin was having a BBQ and swim party at his home. I decided to bring the kids to the party on my own. I let the girls swim with family, while Auggie and I sat poolside. It was time for us to go home so I went in the bathroom to help my daughter get out of her swimsuit. I wanted to wash my hands before helping her, so I reached out for the soap and my left arm went limp. It came down like a ton of bricks and knocked the soap over into the sink. Before I could even process what had happened, my left leg went limp and I leaned into the sink to hold myself up. I remember being inside my head saying, “Call for help! Scream! Why can’t you talk?!” No sooner had panic sunk in when all of my strength returned and I was able to talk and move about as if nothing had happened. Still shaken up from the strange event, I left my daughter in the bathroom to let my aunt know what had happened. I asked her to check on me if I didn’t come out in a normal amount of time. I still felt fuzzy headed and disoriented, but I seemed to have all of my facilities about me so I pressed forward.

Not knowing what to do and having no witnesses, except for my unaware daughter, I tried contacting my husband to get his insight. No answer. I shared my event with a couple of family members, as I was concerned about driving home. However, seeing that I was now fine, it was presumed that the heat had gotten to me. Having lost my strength in my left arm, I had immediately thought that I was either having a heart attack or a stroke. My heart felt fine, so I crossed that off of my list. If it was a stroke, it wasn’t what I had understood of them then. So, I got in my car and drove my three kids home and asked my eldest, who was only 6 at the time, to help keep an eye on me. What she could have done to save us while driving on the freeway should another episode occur, I knew not, but somehow I needed her eyes on me as back-up.

As soon as we were home, I did the bedtime routine and sat on the couch and did what any sane person would do – hit the Internet. I went down the Wikipedia rabbit hole in relation to TIA‘s (mini-strokes) that night. I also happened to remember about how my physician had told me that I should take a baby aspirin due to a blood disease I was born with called Spherocytosis. The blood disease is noted by the red blood cells being in a spherical shape versus a disc shaped, thus increasing the chance for stroke due to clotting (though Wikipedia is not stating this, multiple physicians have discussed this connection with me). Somewhere in the middle of the rabbit hole, my husband finally had a chance to call me back. His first response was, “It sounds like a TIA.” He then asked some of the Emergency Department (ED) Physicians their thoughts and they all said the same. I then realized two things: I should have gone to the ED immediately and I should have been taking that baby aspirin for years.

A round-about diagnosis isn’t iron clad, so I thought I would head to a specialist. I’ll skip through this part a bit faster, as I don’t mean to draw this story out. An MRI was ordered. It came back clear. An Ultrasound was ordered for my heart. It also came back clear. One final test, per the Neurologist’s orders – an EEG. As soon as the electrodes were taken off my head and the tester let me walk out the door, I assumed I was fine or else she wouldn’t have allowed me to drive myself home. A few days later I got the call straight from the physician. We all know that when the call comes from the physician it is not good news. So, as I sat poolside again, plugging one ear with my finger and trying to hear the physician through the phone in my other, all I heard was “non-epileptic seizure.” What the freak was that supposed to mean?!

Oh heavens, I’ve gone and done it again. Too many details. Let’s just get to the part that pisses me off, whaddya say? Based on this lame-I-don’t-even-know-what-that-means diagnosis, my driver’s license got revoked. That’s right, folks! Because the physician deemed it seizure related, he notified the DMV that I should have my driver’s license taken away from me. It still enrages me. So, I got a second opinion, obviously. The new physician calls BS on the first diagnosis and signs off on the paperwork for me to get my license back. The second opinion was that I had a stress-induced episode or severe migraine that resulted in weaknesses. Also, a pretty lame diagnosis, but it got me my license back. Plus, by that time, there was no way to prove I had experienced a TIA, though all signs seemed to point in that direction.

The description of this event took me five lengthy paragraphs to convey, but I feel that it accurately captures how the episode disrupted my life for several months. It was a scary and frustrating process to work through. But, everything happens for a reason, right?

That same Memorial Day Weekend, my Dad and Step Mom were up visiting Central Oregon to scout it out and see if it was where they wanted to retire. My husband and I had toyed around with the idea of leaving Southern California, but it never seemed to feel right. I specifically remember, while driving home from my cousin’s house, thinking, “I can’t do this anymore.” Whether it was heat stroke, a TIA, a seizure, or whatever, it felt scarier dealing with it alongside the stress I was already feeling in my daily life with the pressures of living in Southern California. I desperately wanted Central Oregon to be the answer for my parents, so it could also be the answer for our nuclear family. It turns out that it was. That episode, whatever it was, was one more confirmation for me that it was time for us to leave Southern California. As much as I miss my family, friends, Disneyland, the beach, and sporting events down in Southern California, our move to Central Oregon was one of the best decisions my husband and I have ever made.

So, that puts a little purpose behind the actual episode itself, but what about the misdiagnosis? Why call the episode a seizure when the symptoms were the opposite from the way a seizure behaves? It’s safe to say, based on my very real Stroke of Luck, that the episode three years ago was in fact a TIA. Had I been taking my baby aspirin, perhaps it would not have happened. The full stroke that I had recently was believed to be postpartum related, which I have learned is quite common. The baby aspirin can only take on so much. Due to my stroke, my current Neurologist has now diagnosed that first episode as a TIA. per the knowledge we now have with more EEGs, MRIs, and CT Scans having been performed.

With the proper diagnosis of my 2012 episode in mind, I recently sat on the couch befuddled about why we had to go through that whole drawn out process. I told my husband how annoyed I was with that first doctor, his misdiagnosis and the actions he took to revoke my driver’s license. He simply responded, “He was a blessing to us.” I sat there trying to come up with any possible reason as to how this physician, who was generally annoying to begin with, could have been a blessing to us. My husband, obviously seeing my confusion, added, “If he had diagnosed you with a TIA, we would have never had Hans. We would have known the risk of a postpartum stroke and stopped having kids.” His words hit me so hard that I immediately thanked my Heavenly Father for His tender mercies in our lives and took comfort in knowing that everything happens for a reason.

We don’t always see it at the time, but there is a bigger picture with greater purpose in our lives. I cannot imagine our family without Hans in it. He completed us. Yes, the period of postpartum after Hans did result in a stroke, but even that happened for a reason. That stroke happened for reasons already known and reasons yet understood. I am truly humbled by my husband’s insight and how it has strengthened my faith. And this is just one experience of many. I look back at events that seemed to have no greater meaning than heartbreak and pain, but that is not the case. I have a testimony that everything happens for a reason. That reason is that we have a loving Heavenly Father who knows each of us, knows our needs, and knows our potential. These things happen for a reason, because He wants to give us every opportunity to succeed. He wants this for everyone, believers and non-believers alike. I know that if we are pure in heart, He will provide a way for us to return to Him and everything leading up to that moment will have happened for a reason.

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: