Your Life is an Occasion

January 30, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

For the past few days, I’ve felt like I’ve been in a bit of a slump. I couldn’t seem to pinpoint it’s origin until a few moments ago. I think what it comes down to is that I’m bored with the wash, rinse, repeat cycle of life right now. Are you familiar with this cycle? Of course you are, especially if you’re a parent. I know I’m not alone because I saw a meme just today that read, “Do you want to know what it’s like to have kids? 1. Gather everything you own. 2. Throw it all on the floor. 3. Pick it up. 4. Repeat for infinity.” I’m not sure what’s exacerbating the issue, as it’s not like I’m a new stay-at-home-mom. Perhaps the combination of increased time indoors due to colder temps, or the stage of my six-month-old’s eating habits (feeding baby mush gets tiring), or the fact that my to-do list seems to be never-ending (even worse, at times, never-starting)? I can’t say that I know for sure, but the only thing that’s going to change it is my attitude, which brings me to Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.

Have you seen Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium? I don’t understand why the film has such a low rating? As far as kids movies go, it’s quite endearing. I only recently had the opportunity to watch it. I don’t know how I’ve managed to not see it until now, as it’s been out for almost 10 years. I wish I could say it’s because my children hardly watch TV, but that’s hardly the case. I digress. The movie has a line that struck both my eight-year-old daughter and I as powerful. In the scene, Dustin Hoffman, who plays Mr. Magorium, is saying farewell to his assistant, played by Natalie Portman. In his final goodbye he tells her, “Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.” And so it is.

I need to rise to it. I need to make my life more than wash, rinse, repeat. Don’t get me wrong, I get that life is made up of such things. But the only way it’s going to be more than that is if I rise up and do something more. Then the question remains, “How?” How does one rise to the occasion? If we take an actual occasion, such as a birthday, then we get ourselves spiffy,we eat our favorite foods, we spend time with loved ones, and, if we’re hosting a shin-dig, we pull out our coordinating paper plates and napkins. Not gonna happen. My daily life is going to have to be a different type of occasion.

I’ve pondered much on what I’m seeming to miss these past few days. I thought if I turned the word “rise” into an acronym it might help me in the future, should I start to slip into the doldrums again. So, here it goes, my best guess at what I need to make my life an occasion, or rather, make the most of each day: R – recommit; I – initiate; S – savor; E – evaluate.

Recommit
This is the biggest one for me right now. I’m sort of floundering lately. I need to recommit myself to productivity. For example, right now I have things around the house that have been sitting on my To-Do list for so long that I’ve stopped taking them seriously. I look at the list, rationalize why now isn’t the best time to do such a task, and return to my mindless social media scrolling. The killer is that even though I think I’ve escaped the chore, the weight of not doing it is so heavy that it’s taken away from the joy I could be feeling had I accomplished the task. You may be thinking, “but aren’t chores a part of the wash, rinse, repeat cycle?” They are, you’re right. But maybe if I recommitted to their value in my life and adjusted my attitude, then I could escape the feeling of captivity that I’ve been associating with the endless cycle? My baby step on this item is to recommit by doing 15 minutes of an activity today that I’ve been putting off from my list. My hope is that I will feel better for having accomplished something beyond knowing what a random person “liked” on Facebook today. I chose a 15 minute increment because my Mom used to say to me, “I can do anything for a short amount of time.”

Initiate
This one might be different for everyone. When I think initiate, I think of an activity that is most therapeutic for me, which is spending time with loved ones. Others may need to initiate an outdoor activity or a workout into their day. I admit, I should probably initiate more of those activities as well. However, I personally benefit most from the relationships in my life. I feel edified after spending time with my loved ones as we talk about matters of everyday life. That’s what I need to initiate. A text, an e-mail, a phone call; these things initiate opportunities to strengthen my relationships; which I deem as one of my highest priorities.

Savor
When I think of savoring something, I imagine having to slow down to do so. So, the S in R.I.S.E. may be interchanged with slow down, if you so choose. I did look up the word though and there is no connection with savoring requiring time to be fully accomplished. In fact, my favorite definition for the word was, “to give oneself to the enjoyment of.” We could stop with the letter S and call ourselves good. That is what I need right now. I need to give myself to the enjoyment of life. Prior to looking up the word though, I intended for this to be a reminder that I need to slow down and take in the beauty I do have before me. I can choose to focus on all the dishes in my sink that I will have to wash all over again tomorrow or I can savor the moment that my boys play on the floor together or my girls come in the door from school giggling about their days events. Granted the floor playing isn’t always peaceful and my girls sometimes come in the door distraught from their day, but inevitably there are a couple moments each day that, if the appropriate background music could be added, would be suitable for the last couple minutes of Parenthood when life seems to be savored more fully and everything seems right in the world.

::COMMERCIAL BREAK:: Speaking of Parenthood, I certainly took the time to savor their series finale last night. It was so good. I’m going to miss that show so much. I almost didn’t want to start the series finale because I knew it would come to and end and I wasn’t ready. It reminded me of when I’m reading a good book and I can’t put it down, but I try to slow down my reading just to prevent it from ending. ::BACK TO YOUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING::

Evaluate
When all is said and done, evaluating is key. I knew something was afoot with me all week. Moments of anxiety were happening for no particular reason and I just seemed to have a bit of a cloud over me. I’m still not sure I know exactly what triggered the feelings, but I’ve never been afraid to evaluate my situation to find out. I like playing devil’s advocate with myself. I tend to learn a lot of “not-so-pretty” motivations behind my actions and behavior sometimes, but I think it’s important to face the “not-so-pretty” in an effort to make one’s life something more. The sooner you can understand yourself, the sooner you can begin to fix the kinks you may be facing at the time. I’ve learned that my comfortableness in evaluating myself is a strength that has brought me great peace. It’s been so valuable that it’s one of the motivating factors behind this blog. As we evaluate our personal needs and desires, we can begin moving forward in obtaining them in a healthy manner.

So, today is a new day. Wish me luck, as I R.I.S.E. to the glorious occasion that is my life.

Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst

January 23, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

Shortly after writing my post “Don’t Waste Time with Worry,” I received a Facebook message from my Dad. He said, “I was thinking there could be a follow-up that addresses how you don’t waste time with worry but use the event as motivation for action. This follows a path that I tried to emphasize to all my many employees over the years – hope for the best but plan for the worst.” It was a great suggestion, but one that I wasn’t quite ready to write, until today.

The inspiration to write the above mentioned post came from the uncertainty of my daughter and I both having a tumor disorder called Neurofibromatosis Type 1 (NF-1). There was not anything we could do to prevent such a disorder, but there was definitely a benefit in preparing for the possibility of the worst case scenario of cancer in our future. In our efforts to be ahead of the game, we got our daughter immediately hooked up with a geneticist and pediatric neurologist, both of which involve a 3-hour drive to attend. Then came the insurance tango to get our daughter the appropriate genetic testing. Two steps forward, one-step back, repeat. Finally, we were able to appeal enough times that they agreed to do genetic testing for her, which would potentially have an impact on my diagnosis. This is because one point of criteria to have NF-1 is to have a blood relative with the same gene mutation. So, if she had it, then I had it.

Well, we had a twist in our story. We were pretty much certain that she and I both had NF-1. All signs pointed to yes. We just needed the blood work to confirm it. Not that we wanted to confirm it, because we’re hoping for the best, right? It just seemed to be the inevitable. I wasn’t wasting my time with worry, but it was certainly an item on my mind. So, we get the call from the genetic counselor, after waiting over a month for results, to find out that she does not have the gene mutation. The test is 95% accurate and the gene mutation is not there. I didn’t even know how to process that.

As happy as I was to hear the news, the only thing I could think of was, “what about the 5%?” I’m not trying to be negative here, I just really wish I could lay this topic to rest 100% of the way versus 95% of the way. And then the follow-up questions for my prognosis came into play, if the tumor in my optic nerve is not indicative of NF-1, then what is that tumor doing there? Does this mean I have a greater chance of it being cancerous versus just an indicator of a tumor disorder that mostly is comprised of benign tumors? Then, before I go supernova with panic, I pull myself back in and realize that there’s no sense in worrying, as Michael J. Fox has taught us, and all I need to do is hope for the best and prepare for the worst. And that’s exactly what we did with our situation and will continue to do. We hoped for a clean bill of health for our little girl and did all that we could to get ahead of the game and prepare ourselves for the worst. In this case, we got the best case scenario, or at least 95% of the best case scenario.

::COMMERCIAL BREAK:: Before I go giving my Dad all the credit for this mantra, I should add that I found two variations on it. The first person noted as saying it is Benjamin Disraeli, who served twice as the Primer Minister of the United Kingdom in the 1800’s. He’s quoted as saying, “I am prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.” Then, Maya Angelou stated in her book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, “Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between.” Well, Maya, I am surprised by the in between. I’m surprised at the confusion that I feel with the 95% in-our-favor results. ::BACK TO YOUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING::

I am learning to find complete joy in the good news and realizing that all I need to do is prepare for the 5%. I’m not going to dwell on the 5%, but I am going to keep up on all of my daughter’s check-ups and not shrug them off just to avoid the 3 hour drive. I’m going to continue to be as diligent as I already have been in regards to her health and my own. That’s all I can do.

If you have your own situation that leaves you concerned with the unknown, may I suggest as I have previously, Don’t Waste Your Time with Worry, but also don’t wallow in avoidance. This is why we get insurance, right? Cars break down, homes catch fire, health woes strike, etc. We need to prepare ourselves for what may come our way. But this is not just about insurance, obviously. You will have trials in your life beyond matters that insurance can cover. Hearts get broken, people lose jobs, and faith gets shaken. We need to prepare for those worst case scenarios as well. In these matters, you may have to get a little more creative in your preparation plans. For myself, being a woman of faith, I pray often and read my scriptures so that I can be strong in the Gospel of Jesus Christ when challenges come my way and they will come my way. Regardless of our situations, may we all hope for the best, prepare for the worst and be unsurprised by anything in between.

Musings of a Mom

January 16, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

My mind is racing with all sorts of topics, none of which seem to be fitting to place in a concise post this week. I’m tempted to do a journal style entry this week and call it good. Are you with me? Great!

Laughter is fun, ain’t it? I feel like I’ve laughed a lot this past week, whether it was the banter between my husband and I regarding hoodlums, watching The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, laughing with a friend over dinner, or witnessing my kids in their daily antics, it just felt good to laugh. Laughter is some of the best medicine there is out there.

You know what else is pretty great? Exercise. Not the actual doing part, but the after part is pretty grand. I decided the action of exercising on an elliptical is more bearable if you watch The Tonight Show while you workout. The laughter makes the exercise fly by and the aftermath of getting a good sweat in is quite rewarding.

Parenthood is tough, am I right? I spent a good long time talking with a girlfriend over dinner about how I’m at a loss with one of my kiddos who seems to crave negativity. My friend reminded me that said kiddo is trying to vie for my attention and that even negative attention is still attention. I know this about my child, yet I still fall prey to these tactics. Little stuff turns into big blowouts and soon I have no idea why my child is crying and hyperventilating and I don’t think said child knows either.

COMMERCIAL BREAK: It’s really hard to write a paragraph without disclosing gender, isn’t it? Now back to our regular programming.

So, parenthood, right? I have another child who is one of the most obstinate kids I have ever met. I have read enough of this book called The Child Whisperer, The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, and Cooperative Children to know which type of child I am dealing with, but I guess I need to get back to reading it for added guidance. I feel like I’m on a slippery slope of this kid turning into a spoiled brat.

Anybody out there have any ideas or books to help with negative-attention-seeking kids and obstinate ones? Let me add before I move on to another topic that both of these kids have amazing sides to them as well. I actually think the obstinate kid will benefit from this weakness, if it can be harnessed in the right direction. And the former child has several other spectacular talents that I wish I was lucky enough to possess. I keep thinking that with both of these kids, and even my other two that are currently easier to raise, I need to remember the words of the American writer, Tom Peters, “Celebrate what you want to see more of.” That is the essence of what these kids of mine need, I think. More focus on their strengths rather than feeding in to their negative behavior.

While we’re still on the topic of parenthood, do we have any fans of the show Parenthood on NBC? My husband isn’t a fan. He claims that every show involves yelling. He is mostly right, but oh how I’ll miss all the non-yelling moments. I’m really hoping they end on a happy note and tie it up in a nice little bow. I think that’s the least they could do for their fans, right?

Lastly, I’ve been pondering something when watching the world around me, particularly the actions of my husband. Isn’t life just a little easier when everybody sets out to do as much as they can for the better good? Today, my husband took care of so many tasks around the house that I dread doing, before he headed off to work. His help provided me the opportunity to work simultaneously on other matters that needed tending to in our home. His efforts changed the entire tone of my day. Sometimes I think I focus too much on doing the bare minimum out of pure laziness, when doing just a little more can help lift all parties involved. I realize I’m not saying anything we don’t already know. I guess this is just a friendly reminder to myself that I want to contribute to others the way my husband contributes so much to our little family.

So, there you have it, folks. Nothing grandiose to offer you this week, but meaningful topics to me nonetheless.

First Friday Find: Irony & Perspective

January 2, 2015 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

Yes, yes, I know, irony and perspective are neither a cool product, nor a nifty craft, nor an interesting website. It is, however, what I happened to find this week. A whole heap load of irony and perspective. You see, I resolved to gain greater patience in 2015, as mentioned in my last post Run with Patience. In that post, I mentioned that I was a bit fearful to resolve to do such a thing, as often this quality is improved upon by encountering opportunities to exercise it. Well, the first day of 2015 provided me with my first practice rounds. This may make for a loooooong year.

I was slightly irritated when I finished feeding my baby his breakfast and I heard my toddler son saying to himself, “No Lego Movie,” repeatedly. My irritation raised quickly when I found said toddler taking the brand new The Lego Movie that the family had just received for Christmas and running it along our stone fireplace. I haven’t played it yet to verify, but I’m pretty sure a movie is done once there is an elaborate scratch pattern that covers the entire play area of the DVD. I put him in timeout, but quickly realized there wasn’t too much point in getting upset with him, he didn’t know he was causing harm to it. Hopefully I explained it well enough that he now understands. We shall see. Patience Test #1 passed. Whew.

Fast forward to my errands with four kids in tow. Things were going fairly smoothly. Aside from the hiccup of one store being closed, we were actually having a pretty good time making our many stops. The last stop of the day was Target. We were all in high spirits and I was letting the kids be goofy and have some fun with the cart. We were all just loving life. We came upon the cereal aisle, which happened to be having a sale. I was looking closer at the cereal options in my effort to see what the kids might like best when I saw it! Quaker Honey Graham Oh’s! This might not mean much to you, but it meant a lot to me. It was less than two months ago that I had gone on a hunt for this cereal and learned that it is now only sold in two stores: Target and Rite-Aid. I had checked both of those stores at that time and neither had the cereal in stock. I even got in touch with Quaker in an effort to get my hands on a box and they said it had been 6 months since they had sent it to Central Oregon. So, you see, this was a seriously amazing find! So much so, that I wanted to take a picture and send it to a friend of mine that I knew would appreciate it. I got my phone out, went to take the picture, dropped the phone, and that’s the end. Done. The screen cracked and the phone would no longer respond to my touch. Patience Test #2 was an immediate fail.

As I was trying to fuss with it to see if I could make it work, I quickly grew impatient with the kids. Our fun times ended abruptly. I didn’t let anyone touch the cart because every move they made irritated me. I surrendered to the circumstance without putting up a fight. I honestly thought I could cry. I get that it’s JUST a phone. But, it also happens to be a phone that I had just recently got in October, which already had been returned TWICE due to camera issues and I was not certain we had insurance on it and I was already feeling overwhelmed by the post-Christmas-financial blues. The LAST thing I needed was another $700, as that’s what these babies cost without some sort of deal, out of my pocket. I somberly finished my shopping while checking my phone every few minutes to see if it had changed it’s mind and decided to work. No such luck.

Thankfully, I did recognize this as an opportunity to practice patience. I tried desperately to let it go knowing that there was nothing that I could do in that very moment in Target and taking it out on the kids would get us nowhere. I even managed to chuckle on our way out to the car when my daughter showed me an oil puddle that had made rainbow colors in the shape of a Target symbol. Once we were in the car, I felt so bummed out that I told the kids we were going to pray. I prayed that the phone could be fixed, and that if it couldn’t be fixed, that it could be replaced at a minimal cost, and that if that couldn’t happen, that I could have peace in my heart. I wish I could say peace came immediately, but it didn’t. So off to Verizon we went. Does anybody else hate going into cellular stores as much as I do? It seems like it takes so much time to get anything accomplished in those places.

The phone was officially deemed kaput and I began the mourning process. Thankfully, my husband had put insurance on our phones, but it still meant a $149 deductible and a wait period of at least two days. I’m not gonna lie folks, I felt so discouraged and upset with the situation. I realize it’s just a phone, but the money, time, and failure to not succumb under trial, as I had just resolved to do, got the best of me.

At the end of the day, as I was feeding my baby and still dwelling on the irony of my day in relation to my resolution, I also happened to find perspective. Accidents happen. They suck. Some are absolutely tragic and have a lasting affect. I found myself recalling news stories from this past week and my heart ached for those who have suffered far greater loss than my stupid phone situation. It almost makes me more upset with myself that I let it get to me so much in the first place.

So, I hope you’ll forgive me for losing sight of the big picture, for thinking at such a worldly level, and for not being an example of patience. I truly hope to improve upon this quality and I find myself grateful for all that I do have in my life. Top on the list of things I’m grateful for is my husband with whom I am celebrating 11 years of marriage on this very day. I feel so blessed in knowing that we will be together for time and all eternity and a $149 deductible will have absolutely no bearing on that blessing.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go sing The Lego Movie theme song in my effort to embrace the positive. EVERYTHING IS AWESOOOOME!!

In Dreams Awake

December 24, 2014 ~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

‘Twas a night in December of 2011, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse, the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that my BFF soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while I anxiously awaited to start a horrifically cheesy Christmas movie that ABC Family had put out called 12 Dates of Christmas. Sigh. I was never good at poetry, so I’ll leave it for Clement Clark Moore. Seriously though, I really wanted to see this movie and I knew my BFF, who has an equally pathetic love for cheesy rom-coms, was the perfect person to have by my side. It had everything you would expect of a magoo made-for-TV-movie; discontinuity, plot holes, everybody growing together as people, cheesy lines, and a male lead character saving the world one wayward teenager at a time. And, sadly, my BFF and I loved every second of it. We even watched parts of it over again when we realized there were some hidden gems we had missed. I may have liked it so much that I convinced another friend of mine to watch it with me again this year. And even though we both laughed at all the corny lines, poor acting, and plot holes, we both found ourselves sighing, as smitten women do, at the tender predictable ending.

Watching the movie a second time, I found myself appreciating the concept of making the most of our lives. If you didn’t watch the trailer in the link above, the lead actress lives Christmas Eve over and over again until she gets everything just right. Think of the movie Groundhog Day with less humor and more magoo. I got caught up in the message of living to our full potential in an effort to create a happier and fuller life. They drive the message home in one scene when they use Henry David Thoreau’s quote, “Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.” What a beautiful concept, right? It reignited my desire to make sure my life matched my values, my righteous desires, and my dreams, as that’s how I interpret that quote. I feel like the message is that we are to be active participants in creating a life that exemplifies who we aspire to be.

I think that’s why I like the idea of bucket lists so much. They are like the blueprints of my dreams. I think back to my 30th birthday and my husband’s gift to me. My Life Bucket List has “Ride a Zamboni” on it. My guess is that had I not put it out there as a sincere desire it would not have come to pass. That February night in 2011, I was in dreams awake. Or even something simpler I did this past week from my Christmas Season Bucket List. I had on there to take cards to a retirement home. As much as I genuinely wanted to do it, I could have easily justified not doing it. The Saturday was cold and rainy and my husband would not be with me to help with the kids. However, because of the list and having put it out there as something I wanted to do, I made the extra effort to do it. How glad I am that we did. It felt so good to brighten the day of so many people. Plus, it was darling to see the pictures and notes my children created for the residents. Seeing my children brighten someone else’s day is me living in dreams awake.

But it’s not just about bucket lists. It’s about making the effort to live your dreams, whether they be small or large. To live in the moment, to make the most of that moment. That’s the message that 12 Dates of Christmas and Henry David Thoreau are trying to make, I think. We have this glorious opportunity to change the world around us for the better merely by making a commitment to ourselves to live to our full potential.

In some ways I’m great at this and in other ways I fail to accomplish my dreams. Perfect example: I dream of being healthier. Not thinner, though that would inadvertently happen, but healthier. I hope that one day I can live in dreams awake with a fit body. In the meantime, cheeseburgers beat out vegetables every time. Thankfully, I have not completely given up on myself. My determination to accomplish my Life Bucket List may be all I need to make this a reality since several items on there require a healthier body.

Each of us has our strengths and our weaknesses. And while Amy Smart got to live Christmas Eve 12 times over before getting it right, we also have another day to give it our best effort. So, here’s to embracing our strengths and challenging ourselves on our weaknesses in the hopes of living in dreams awake; our truest life, or rather, to our full potential.

Don’t Waste Time with Worry

December 12, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ 3 Comments

As I have shared previously in my posts (Stroke of Luck, The Truthiness About Strength, and Living Cheerfully Amidst Trials), I recently suffered from a stroke, which led to a serendipitous find of a tumor in my optic nerve. The tumor is currently deemed as stable, thankfully. What I had not previously shared is that the tumor’s location is indicative of a tumor disorder called Neurfibromatosis Type 1 (NF-1). The long and short of it is that it causes a person to get tumors along the nervous system. The spectrum of the tumor disorder ranges from a benign tumor that creates no pain to cancer and chemotherapy treatments. I handled all that news okay. It wasn’t until I put together the pieces that my daughter is showing the starting signs of this disorder and it is deemed much more dangerous for kids, that I became heartbroken. However, I’m not here to discuss the battle that my daughter may or may not face. What I wanted to share was some uplifting insight I had regarding events tied to this knowledge of hers and my health situation.

To understand my insight, you need to know that there is the potential for me to become blind and that my daughter may battle cancer before she’s eleven years-old. Those are our worst-case scenarios right now and neither are pleasant. That being said, I am currently not blind and my daughter currently does not have cancer. Right now we just have the possibility of such an outcome. Now, I have two options. Option #1- I sit here and worry about the possibility of the worst-case-scenario outcomes and hypothesize how long before things start to deteriorate in each of our bodies. In essence, I worry senselessly but try to pawn it off as though I’m just preparing myself for the future. Option #2 – I let my worry go and embrace the able body and mind that she and I currently have. In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m opting for the latter. I was having this discussion with a friend of mine and she shared with me this awesome quote by Michael J. Fox that speaks to this matter, “Don’t spend a lot of time imagining the worst-case scenario. It rarely goes down as you imagine it will, and if by some fluke it does, you will have lived it twice.” This quote from a man who has suffered from Parkinson’s Disease for over twenty years and still continues his role as an actor and, now, an advocate for the disease. Proof that we can’t let our worst-case scenarios keep us from living to our full potential.

This came to my mind again yesterday, as I drove my daughter three hours to the closest pediatric specialists available. My daughter has become terrified of doctors ever since she underwent her second eye surgery two years ago. As a result, my husband and I did tell her that they might need to do some tests, but we did not tell her that the tests would include them drawing her blood. We didn’t see the point in having her worry about it for days. I finally told her in the lab waiting room and as soon as her name was called she went into panic mode. I physically dragged her into the lab, fought to get her jacket off, braced her down in my arms, and stayed strong while she yelled at me, “MOM! LET ME GO!” Once the needle was in and she realized that it wasn’t that bad, she immediately calmed down and said, “Sorry; I was scared. It was my first time.” I had tried so desperately to explain to her that she was making it worse by freaking out and that it wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought it would be, but she just couldn’t believe me. I even tried to reference the last time she freaked out at the doctors when her eyes needed to be dilated. I reminded her that her tantrum then didn’t change the fact the dilation was going to happen, just as this blood draw was going to happen regardless. She could either go about it calmly or freak out and make it worse. Unfortunately, she chose the latter, but she assures me she will not freak out next time.

These events served as a confirmation that I don’t want to waste time worrying about the worst-case scenario. I fell into this trap before when I was mourning my mom’s death while she was still alive. I was wasting time fretting about how I wouldn’t survive once she was gone, instead of enjoying all the beautiful time that I still had left with her. I’m thankful that I learned this lesson then, so that it could prepare me for the situation I currently find myself in now, where it would be so easy to cry over the possibility of me going blind and not see the life I currently live before me (pun intended). My goal is to somehow instill this same lesson in my children’s hearts and hopefully save them some angst down the line.

This way of thinking has proved freeing for me. I worry about the future from time to time, just as the next person, but somewhere along the way, I learned to embrace the present as well. Right now, my daughter does not have cancer and I can see the world around me and that is a glorious feeling. And if, by chance, she does get cancer and I do go blind, at least I can take comfort in knowing that I didn’t waste the time leading up to those events. Plus, I will hopefully have gained a better understanding of the power of a positive attitude and use that strength in whatever battle me or my loved ones will have to face.

A Modest Christmas Plan

December 2, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

Many of us have vivid memories from our youth of Christmas mornings. Growing up, in my home, we first gathered in my parents room for family prayer. Then, once my mom had gone downstairs and turned on all of the lights and sat in the optimal position for picture taking, we were allowed to come downstairs and look at the splendor that had magically arrived overnight. My mom loved to spoil us, particularly on Christmas, so we always came down to a plethora of presents, whether we had the money for it or not. Rumor has it, that on one Christmas, my brothers actually asked if they could take a break from opening gifts since they had so many. In short, we wanted for nothing. As I grew older, Christmases changed. The more I understood about money, the less I expected to see under the tree. But there were some growing pains for a few Christmases between the all-you-can-open Christmas and the it’s-not-just-about-presents Christmas. I’d be lying if I didn’t confess that during my teens, I had longed for the Christmases I had come to expect at a very young age. This provided a conundrum when it came to the Christmases that I provided for our family. Should I give them the all-you-can-open Christmas I had missed during my teenage years? Or do I give them something more, by giving them less?

I opted to give them something more on Christmas morning, by giving them less. However, this was not the case during the first Christmases of our marriage. This plan has evolved from other’s examples. I have a friend who gets each of her kids just one gift. I was astonished. She told me that their grandparents get them so much that it would be crazy for she and her husband to buy any more than that. I wasn’t bold enough to limit Christmas morning to one gift per child, but once I heard the idea of getting each child a want, a need, a wear, and a read, I was sold! Thankfully, I heard of this while my eldest was still young enough not to recall those very first Christmases when this rule did not apply. We started this tradition a couple years ago and now my kids know the drill. They can ask for one thing that they want, I usually know of one thing that they need, and one thing to wear, and one thing to read. Of course, I cheat a little, since they believe Santa also brings them one thing. And their stockings are usually filled with some goofy little $1 toy, candy, and a new toothbrush. Why I give a toothbrush for Christmas is beyond me, but it was always in my stocking, so it will be in theirs.

I really feel like this helps keep my kids expectations realistic and my checking account in the black. Plus, it helps keep a balance between each child’s gifts. My second oldest has asked for a princess doll set, she stands in need of snow boots, she loves to wear maxi skirts to church, and we all love the book Unicorn Thinks He’s Pretty Great by Bob Shea, so I buy those four and we move on to the next kiddo. It’s a glorious plan that helps my sanity and my pocketbook. Best of all, it’s a tradition that doesn’t over-indulge my children.

My hope is that they will always have warm memories of Christmas that will not be based on the amount of presents around the tree, but rather the amount of love shared with friends and family.

Free Printable Christmas Season Bucket List

November 28, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

I’m a firm believer in holding off on all things Christmas until Thanksgiving has been fully celebrated and appreciated. So, here I am, on the day after Thanksgiving to kick off the Christmas season! I decided I would put together a fun little Christmas Season Bucket List, as I’m sure comes as no surprise. Sadly, I only completed 16 of my 20 items on my Awesome Autumn Bucket List. The following list is sure to be completed, as it is filled with all the things that our family loves to do every year around this beautiful time of year when we celebrate the birth of our Savior.

I like to post bucket lists on our refrigerator for reference! This means that today the Awesome Autumn Bucket List comes down and this one goes up! Feel free to download your own copy of this Christmas Season Bucket List! May it help make your Christmas season merry and bright!

I love this time of year and I’m excited to spread the love and joy that it brings me!

###

After publishing, I discovered typos in the Printable Christmas Season Bucket List. In my effort to not take more time away from my infant son who patiently waited while I put this together, I will not be redoing this printable. I apologize in advance if you decide to print this out and the typos bug you, as they do me. Alas, my role as a mother takes priority. Thank you in advance for understanding.

Fall Craft: Leaf Mason Jars

November 17, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

Here in our neck of the woods, Fall is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Winter greeted us with a significant snow storm that served as a reminder to get cracking on my Awesome Autumn Bucket List before I embrace the next season. So, when I was walking the girls home from school, I told them to grab all the leaves they could find so that we could work on our Fall Craft, which was an item on our bucket list. Sadly, we started this project too late in the season for it to be a complete success. However, it still turned out pretty cute, so I thought I would share.

You may be asking yourself, “Hey, didn’t she say that she isn’t crafty?” You are correct, I did say that. But for some reason, if you put some sort of brush in my hand, it somehow seems easier for me to tackle. This time it was a sponge brush to pull off the DIY Leaf Mason Jars that I found on Pinterest through the website Plan Provision. It doesn’t provide much of a how-to on the site, but it does tell you what you’ll need. The problem in our results was that I wasn’t aware that the leaves this late in the season would prove to be too crispy and therefore would not stick properly to the mason jars. We had to cut up the leaves a bit to make them stick at all. While I still think they turned out nice, I plan to do this project again next year earlier in the season for a more professional looking final product.

If you still have a bit off Fall hanging on where you live, you may want to give this project a go during your Thanksgiving break. If, like us, winter is upon you, then keep this in mind for next year! It really did add a beautiful effect to our dining room. Even better, it left us one bucket list item closer to completing our goal of creating the most Awesome Autumn yet!

Teach Them, Don’t Tell Them

October 24, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

As many of you know, I previously contributed once a month on Over the Big Moon. The post below was originally posted on their site on Fathers Day of this year. I thought I would include it here today, as it is more about our role as teachers in our children’s lives than it is about dads alone. Enjoy!

In honor of Father’s Day, I thought I would write about an attribute of my own dad’s that I have come to appreciate. You’ll notice, based on my wording, that I did not always appreciate this aspect of my dad. It took me years to understand this, once very frustrating, characteristic of his. Allow me to explain.

While my dad was only briefly a teacher by profession, he has the qualities of a great teacher. He has a wealth of knowledge and a desire to share it. He truly is one of the most intelligent people I know. Through out my life, I have gone regularly to him for advice. That all being said, he has never given me the answer to my quandary. Not ever. It was frustrating in my earlier years, when I started to realize my dad’s tactics. I wanted him to just tell me what to do, since I knew he knew what was right. I trusted his opinion that fully. He had a track record of responsible decisions that led to success, particularly on a business level, which I wanted to follow. But, alas, no answers would be given. Instead, my dad would discuss the matter. Pros and cons would be given for all avenues. Several questions would be asked of me to see where I already stood on the issue. A simple question of mine would result in a thought-provoking conversation that could go on for hours. A conversation that would end with an answer that would ultimately come from me. And that is how my dad served as one of my greatest teachers, because his actions reflected Alexandra K. Trenfor’s quote that, “The best teachers are those who show you where to look, but don’t tell you what to see.”

As frustrating as it was as a youth, I grew to appreciate that my dad would not give me the answer. He helped me to study it out in my mind. This method not only taught me how to be a more careful decision maker, but it also taught me how to have trust in myself. My dad was teaching me the old adage, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” Except for he was teaching me how to be a fisherman of knowledge and truth. Being a woman of faith, I should add that I have always used prayer in conjunction with my dad’s technique of weighing all the pros and cons. This combination has proven invaluable in bringing me to a place in my life where I now trust myself to make the responsible decision. And, for those times when I am unsure of all the pros and cons, guess who I still go to for advice even though I know he still won’t give me the answer? My dad.

Now the challenge is being that same great teacher for my own children. Unfortunately, my natural tendency is to do for my kids those things which they need or want done, merely because it feels easier and quicker than teaching them. It’s not the right thing to do, but it’s my default setting. I can already see the rising frustration in my second daughter when I do remember to follow my dad’s ways. This past week was a perfect example. My daughter was making a card for a friend of mine who just had a baby. She wanted to write a story on the card as well. My daughter’s spelling is applicable to her Kindergarten age, but that was not sufficient for her. She wanted so badly for the card to be just right so she asked me to spell out every word she did not know. I started to help and quickly realized that my role as spelling specialist would not help her in her efforts to learn for herself. I wanted to see what she could do and accomplish all on her own. Having her do it all by herself afforded she and I new opportunities to grow and learn. I was able to see where she currently stands with her spelling (and her speech since kids tend to spell it how they hear it) and she provided me with the opportunity to “show [her] where to look, but [not] tell [her] what to see.” In this particular case, I helped show her where to look by sounding out words with her, but she had to figure out the results for herself.

My Dad & Daughter

I think Trenfor’s quote is even greater if we consider the fact that what my dad was showing me and what I was showing my daughter is that we can look within ourselves for the answers. By following this teaching plan, we give our children ownership of their actions and confidence in themselves. What a wonderful attribute that we have the opportunity to pass on to our children than that of a healthy confidence. A confidence that they can make responsible decisions, that they can see art work through their own eyes, that they can cut an orange their preferred way, that they can learn to find deeper meaning in the simple daily tasks because they have been taught to think for themselves. These are the things I hope to teach my children, as my own father taught me.

I want to be one of the best teachers I can be for my children. Thankfully, I know the way to go about doing that. I will focus on teaching my children where to look, but not telling them what to see. The greatest challenge in making that possible, for me, is learning to let go. However, realizing how far my dad’s teaching tactics have brought me in life makes me that much more excited to see how my children will bloom in a similar manner.

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: