It’s a BOY!

July 15, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

My favorite thing to hear people say to me when I’m out and about with my kids is, “Wow! You have your hands full!” My response is always the same, “That’s how I like them.” I love my hands full with my sweet children, as they each make my heart that much more full!

Our hands and our hearts became fuller this past Saturday, as we welcomed our new baby boy to our family. You’ll have to forgive me if this serves as my post for this week. We’re all relishing in our time with our newest family member.

First Friday Find: Goodreads!

July 4, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

Summer is such a beautiful time of year! I know I’m enjoying it even more now that I live in a place that has changing seasons. It’s fun to see our little vacation town come alive with different activities. I love how summer can be equal parts active and relaxing. One minute we’re off kayaking on the lake and the next we can be sunbathing and reading along the shoreline. This is why I thought it would be fun to share the site Goodreads with you all for July’s First Friday Find.

I’ll be honest, Goodreads is not a recent find for me. In fact, according to my profile, I joined the site in April 2013, one month prior to starting this blog. I know many are already familiar with this website, but for those that aren’t let me share with you what it’s all about. In short, it’s a free website where you can keep track of the books you have read, want to read, and are currently reading. This is excellent for me because I often hear about books that I want to read, then I tend to forget about said books once I finish my current book. Another feature it offers is being a search engine for books. This means that I can get all the details on a book quickly, including readers reviews. This is especially helpful because I really like to know how many pages are in a book. I’m the first to admit that a thick book is difficult for me to commit to. Plus, I like that I can get a rough idea of how good the book really is based on their 5 star rating system. While I enjoy reading, I don’t always get an opportunity to sit down to a book for one reason or another. So, when I do, I want the book to be worth my time and Goodreads helps make that possible.

Another big plus to the website is that it creates a community of readers. I like that I can see what my friends are reading and what they’re finding to be a good book. I get notifications now and again about latest best sellers or what my friend’s are adding to their book lists and it gets me excited about reading. Another way that it gets me pumped up to read is by tracking my book genres and ratings for books that I have already read and then recommending me new books. Overall, I find it to be a really user-friendly site that helps promote a world of reading.

Now that I’ve hopefully convinced you of how awesome this website is, let me share with you one book from each of my four list categories on Goodreads: Read, Currently Reading, Want to Read, and Children’s.

READ – Edenbrooke by Julianne Donaldson. While I have read several good books, I feel this is a good book to share for a summer read. It’s a light and easy romantic read that is perfect to enjoy while sunbathing or lying in the shade of a tree.

CURRENTLY READING – The Child Whisperer, The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, and Cooperative Children by Carol Tuttle. I would not be reading this book had my friend not sent it to me for Mother’s Day. Parenting books are just hard for me to get excited about for some reason. However, my friend kept pushing me to read this one and I’m definitely glad that I am. I’m not 100% sold on everything this book says, but it has been a very eye-opening and thought provoking book to read. I find myself wanting other parents to read it with me so we can discuss it together.

WANT TO READ – Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand. You can read more information regarding this book here on Goodreads. I have heard nothing but great things about this book. It’s a non-fiction book based on the life of Louie Zamperini who was an American WWII prisoner of war survivor. Zamperini actually just passed away yesterday at the age of 97. A full life for certain and one that I’m excited to read more about.

CHILDREN’S – What Animals Really Like by Fiona Robinson. The default categories on Goodreads does not include a Children’s list. I have just grown to love children’s picture books so much that I had to add a list to note my personal favorites. Some children’s books are so pathetic I hardly feel like they should have been allowed to go to print. Then there are others that are either so clever or poignant that I feel every adult and child should read them. What Animals Really Like is one of those darling books that just makes you happy to read it to little kids. You may recall, from my post called Breaking Through Boredom, that I read it to my daughter’s Kindergarten class on her birthday and it was a hit!

So, there you have it! Some good reads to add to your Goodreads account! And, since this is being posted on Independence Day, think of this First Friday Find as my personal appreciation and support for the freedom of press!

Happy Fourth of July!

Journaling the Journey

July 3, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

This week has been filled with much false labor, multiple bucket list items being checked off of our Ultimate Summer Bucket List, and preparations for our celebration of Independence Day tomorrow. As a result, I’m taking this opportunity to bring a post that was originally published on Over the Big Moon back in January, Journaling the Journey, and including it here on my blog. I was particularly grateful to give this post a re-read, as I have been desperately lacking in my journal entries.

Perhaps it’s pregnancy that makes me more reflective or embarking on a new year, but I found myself wanting to look back at previous posts on my family blog. As I was reading through it, gratitude filled my heart for the time I had set aside to write blog posts over the past seven years. I recall it feeling like a chore at times to do so, particularly during the more difficult periods in my life. Re-reading the ups and downs and pondering how I’ve grown and changed brought me peace.

I was once encouraged to keep a record of my personal faith-promoting experiences. It was not just to be for posterity sake, but it was supposed to serve as a reminder to me when perhaps my faith was lacking. I can’t tell you how valuable that suggestion has been in my life. I’m not always the best about writing in my personal journal, but I do make a greater effort to do so when it comes to the things that I know I’ll need to remember during the more tumultuous times. It’s been immensely helpful to re-read my own experiences instead of relying solely on other’s faith-promoting moments. I love how Helen Keller, who was both blind and deaf, once put it: “I don’t want to live in a hand-me-down world of others’ experiences. I want to write about me, my discoveries, my fears, my feelings, about me.”

I realize writing is not a favorite past-time for a lot of people. There are many who would love to have a journal to look back on but aren’t up for taking the time to write it out now. In these circumstances, it may be best to tailor something to your specific situation. Perhaps create a private blog so that you can type up your thoughts quicker on a weekly basis? Or maybe your feelings are equally effective when expressed through drawings? In that case, grab yourself a sketch book and jot down the date, a picture, and maybe a few key words to describe how things are at that moment in your life. Maybe taking video and pictures comes easily to you? An option might be to save these files in chronological order with very specific titles for each video or picture (e.g., “Hubbies first time trying octopus”). I am a strong supporter of the action of putting pen to paper, but do whatever works for you. If conventional journaling prevents you from doing any aspect of it, then take baby steps for now.

If you are feeling so bold as to do conventional journal writing, but feel like you don’t know what to write, here are a couple suggestions. One would be to get your hands on a Journal Jar. Perhaps you’ve seen or heard of these before. My cousin gave me a Journal Jar, as shown below, stuffed with journal topics. Some examples are: Share a principle you have learned or taught; Tell about how you feel about water – playing in it, seeing it, using it; What instrument do you play or wish you could play? Why?; Did you and your Mother share an interest in any special activity?; How did your Father spend his time?; and so on. Another option for the unsure journal writer is to simply begin by putting pen to paper. Half the time when I write in my personal journal I don’t know what it is I want to say. Oftentimes, I haven’t even figured out what I’m feeling at the moment until I find where my pen leads me. This was particularly helpful in my teenage years when I was trying to understand all the feelings and changes I was going through. Journaling helped me sort my mind out.

Which brings me to the last aspect I wanted to bring up regarding journaling: start young. Teach your children the importance of writing in a journal now. A couple weeks ago, I chatted with my girls about journal writing. I have a daughter who is in the second grade and one in Kindergarten. Both are capable of putting words together. I encouraged my Kindergartner to use pictures when she didn’t know what to write. It was fun to see what they chose to share in their first entries. I can only imagine how fun it will be for them to look back and see how far they’ve come, not just in their thoughts and ideas, but in their writing also. If your children are now grown and you would like to encourage them to journal, perhaps making a Journal Jar as a gift for their next birthday would be a fun idea. StoryCorps has a great list of questions to help make your jar possible and motivate your children at any age to get journaling!

I’m grateful for the example my parents set for me on this matter. My Dad has always been a dedicated journal writer. He even gifts a “Year in Review” to my Step-Mom each Christmas with the highlights of their past year that he’s pulled from his personal journal. It’s a gift my Step-Mom looks forward to every year. My Mom was not as consistent with her journaling as my Dad. But I treasure the entries she did leave behind for us. Upon her passing, it was fun to read through her journals. She would always note what she ate for all of her meals. It might seem so trivial to write, but I love reading of her adventures in cottage cheese and pineapple. As noted before, the process of journaling is as much of a blessing to ourselves as it will be to our posterity.

I actually jot my thoughts, memories and feelings down in various places. One of my favorites is a little journal where I only keep memories of things my kids are currently doing or saying. It’s an absolute blast to look back and remember how they used to pronounce certain words when they were first learning to talk. We think we’ll never forget these precious moments with our children but they slip by all too quickly and, sadly, our memories tend to slip away with them. I confirmed this as I was re-reading blog posts from years prior. I could hardly believe how small my kids looked in the pictures and videos posted. Now is the time to write and capture the moments in whatever manner works for you.

In my exercise of reflection through re-reading my family blog, I reaffirmed that my blog, journals, pictures and videos are invaluable. Not only did I grow in the process of writing it all down in the first place, but I’ve grown in re-reading it and bringing back to my mind all the ways that I have received tender mercies and grown over the years. My belief is that journaling blesses our lives in the moment, in our future, and in our children’s future.

You Can’t Fix Yourself by Breaking Someone Else

June 27, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

I find human nature amusing at times, don’t you? The first scene of the movie He’s Just Not That Into You is a perfect example. It shows a little girl being bullied at the park by a little boy. The little girl then goes up to her Mom to explain the events and the Mom’s response is, “That means the boy likes you.” Wait, what? Being mean is an indication of liking someone?! I recall, in my own youth, being told that if a kid was being mean to me it’s a sign that they are jealous of me. This brings me back to my first statement that us humans can be an odd bunch sometimes.

My examples above are that of kids, but some of our backwards behavior carries on into our adulthood. Are you ready for my true confession of discordant thinking? I take you back to the first year of my marriage. This is when a disturbing behavior of mine was brought to my attention. I don’t exactly recall the specifics of how it came about, but I quickly gained the nickname “Red Pen” from my husband. The name was an indication of my constantly correcting everything he did. You may recall the orange slicing incident from my previous post Celebrating Differences? He’d also respond to some of my remarks with a simple, “Put the gavel down.” This was his delicate way of saying I needed to quit unrighteously judging him or the circumstances around me. In short, I was being unkind as well as a micro-manager. The latter being an annoying habit for sure, but harmless for the most part. Or is it?

It turns out that I was increasing the frequency of my “Red Pen” behavior when I was feeling a lack of control over myself. I didn’t really make the correlation until I was sitting in a therapy session a few years back. I was confessing to my therapist that I tend to point out all of my husband’s faults and short-comings. She, being a therapist, immediately recognized this behavior as a sign of my own insecurities. My insecure nature had already been recognized as the root of a large portion of my struggles so I’m sure this behavior came as no surprise to her. Then she pulled a typical therapist move on me. She went and said something I had heard a million times before, but had never internalized or applied it to myself. Her response to my confession was simple, “You can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else.” Wait, what? You can’t? Because somewhere along the way I subconsciously made this a truth. If I wasn’t able to feel good about myself, then surely I could make my husband feel worse or bring him down and that would somehow put me up higher, right? Wrong.

Oh, how sad of a way to behave. How terrible I felt when I realized that I had been breaking my husband down in a failed attempt to lift myself up. I took the therapy session to heart and began trying to right my wrongs immediately. It must have worked successfully because I was just telling my husband about the topic of this post being that you can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else and he promptly responded with, “You don’t do that.” I had to remind him of our first years of marriage and then he said, “Oh yeah, that happened.” Unfortunately, the micro-managing sneaks back in to our relationship when I am feeling less than optimal about myself. Thankfully, it doesn’t escalate in to me trying to break him down or point out all of his flaws, as I’ve learned to reel myself in and see the situation for what it is.

It’s tough to redirect ourselves from these unhealthy behavior patterns that somehow get ingrained in us. Obviously, nobody taught me this behavior specifically. I was not pulled aside as a child and told, “You know what would make you feel better about yourself? Bringing others down.” But I did have to be directly told to NOT act in that manner. And what about the other behaviors I mentioned above? A kid who bullies being an indication that he likes you? Or is jealous of you? Huh? That is an odd way to show your admiration or affection for someone. What happens to the person that buys in to that way of thinking and ends up in a harmful relationship with someone who treats them in such a manner?

This brings me to my final thought, which leaves me recalling a line from the movie French Kiss. The main character, Kate, is frustrated with the manner in which the French share their emotions in an opposite fashion to their true feelings and exclaims, “Happy, smile. Sad, frown. Use the corresponding face with the corresponding emotion.” My final thought echoes that of Kate’s: Let’s use the corresponding behavior for the corresponding results. If you want to feel better, be kinder and better. If you want to feel love, show love. Let’s strive to lift one another up in an effort to make the world a happier place rather than bring someone down under the falsehood that we will somehow be lifted higher. Let us compliment people and magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses.

I learned that bringing my husband down did not make me feel any better about myself. I must have been disillusioned into thinking so, as I had made a habit of it, but it was not the reality. I often felt worse about myself, as I was bringing unnecessary contention into our home. However, lifting him up and lifting others up around me actually does make me feel better about myself. Joy begets more joy. I know this to be true because there is more joy, understanding and compassion found in our marriage now than when I was trying to fix myself by breaking him.

May we each begin to recognize the true happiness that is felt within when we lift others rather than break them down.

3 Ways to Bring Sunshine to the Soul

June 4, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

Don’t you love those times in life when you somehow feel more upbeat or at peace no matter what life is throwing at you? I’m in one of those happy places right now and I’m trying to analyze every little aspect of my daily actions to see what is making the difference. I think I’ve deduced that there are three things contributing to my happier demeanor – focusing less on myself, tidying up, and the joy of sunshine!

I tried to word that first one – focusing less on myself – carefully. At first I wanted to put down “doing service” or “thinking more of others.” But in reflecting back on my week, I don’t know that I’ve been doing any grand acts of service or even thinking of others more than usual. I think what it comes down to is that I’ve been trying to focus more on the good in life in general rather than constantly dwelling on my short-comings and undone tasks, which there are plenty of the latter these days. I think what it comes down to is that I’m trying to embrace Abraham Lincoln’s quote about how, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” I’ve struggled with this quote because there are plenty of times that I want to be happy and I think that I’m doing all I can do make it happen and it’s just not happening. But perhaps it’s not just about making my mind up to be happy, but rather making my mind up to not dwell on the unhappy, or rather, striving to focus less on myself. When I say focus less on myself, I’m not saying to ignore the personal nourishment that my body, soul, and mind needs. By focusing less on myself, I mean looking beyond myself and seeing the beauty around me and the opportunities that abound. It seems to me that focusing less on myself is the way my mind chooses happiness. This might not be the case for all. Perhaps it’s worth thinking about this quote and trying to understand what actions need to be taken for your mind to decide to be happy?

The second thing that just made life a little brighter was tidying up some odds and ends around the house. I still have seven weeks to go in this pregnancy, but my husband is convinced the nesting period has begun. Last night, as I busily cleaned up clutter and messes that I had let fall by the wayside for too long, my husband was literally chirping and singing some made-up song about what types of twigs and such do I put in my nest. Just sharing that makes me giggle all over again, which makes me think that perhaps the goodness of my husband ought to be on this list of things that have been bringing sunshine in to my soul. I say it often, “I married up.” But, back to the topic at hand, a tidier home just makes for a happier home, does it not? I’m not saying perfectly tidy, because lets be honest, I am a mother of three. I have learned that each child produces more clutter and mess. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about the added mess of yet another kiddo. Comedian, Jim Gaffigan’s, line from his stand-up show Mr. Universe is in the forefront of my mind often these days, “You want to know what it’s like having a fourth kid? Imagine you’re drowning. Then someone hands you a baby.” He goes on to say how happy he actually is to have four (now five kids), but that doesn’t take away from the reality that more kids = more chaos. Perhaps that’s why my efforts to get our current level of chaos better under control helped calm my nerves a little bit.

Lastly, I truly believe my soul just needed some literal sunshine. While I love the varying seasons here in Oregon, I can certainly tell how my mood responds to a few days of good ol’ sunshine. The best part is that it rarely gets too hot here. So the days filled with sunshine are days that seem almost too perfectly beautiful and comfortable to be real. Yesterday just happened to be one of those days. We headed down to the river as a family and met up with some friends. The kids rode their bikes all over the place and threw rocks in the river, while we visited and took in the beautiful sunshine and scenery. Taking time to enjoy the beauty of the world in which we live and spending time with loved ones just warms the soul. It’s truly that simple.

So, if for whatever reason, you are having a difficult time feeling the sunshine in your soul, perhaps one of these three pieces of revelation will help brighten your spirit and your day!

Free Printable Ultimate Summer Bucket List

May 29, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

Being that Memorial Day Weekend is the unofficial kick-off to the summer season, I made an exerted effort to finalize our 2014 Summer Bucket List even though my kids still have a couple more weeks of school. It was a fun process to come up with what I feel is the ultimate summer bucket list. My list is comprised of items that we did last year along with some items I found on other summer bucket lists. I went ahead and linked to the original sources in an effort to better explain some of the activities on my list, plus to give credit where credit is due. I hope this list gets you as excited about summer as it has for me!

Visit a waterfall – Hopefully you’re fortunate enough to have one nearby.
Find and Follow a YouTube Tutorial – I plan to have my girls look up a YouTube Tutorial on how to do Rainbow Loom bracelets. However, there seem to be countless tutorials on YouTube to help teach your child any number of skills.
Have a Reverse Dinner Night – This is simple enough, just eat dessert first and bask in the glory of being the coolest parent ever (at least for the night).
Take a Full Moon Walk – June 13th, July 12th, and August 10th are your dates for this activity!
Do a Day of Service – Check out my Service Board on Pinterest, if you’re looking for some ideas.
Go Fishing
Celebrate a “National” Holiday – I’m using the word “national” loosely. This one is referring to the sillier national holidays; such as National Doughnut Day on June 6, National Ice Cream Day on July 20, or National Watermelon Day on August 3.
Do Letter Boxing or Geocaching – I snagged a couple activities from a post I found on Inner Child Fun’s website titled 20 Favorite Must-Do Activities for Summer. Geocaching is #13 on her list. You can also get more information here about Letter Boxing, which is quite similar.
Attend a County Fair
Watch a Movie Outdoors – This may mean a Drive-In Movie for some. However, last summer we hosted this activity in our backyard. Thanks to the help of one friend’s projector and another friend’s sound system, we were able to show Wreck-It Ralph. The problem though with living in the Northwest is that it stays light so late in to the evening. Regardless, it sure made for a fun night!
Participate in a Reading Program – I actually plan to get my kids signed up in a couple summer reading programs this year. We have one at our local library, but I also learned that Barnes & Noble has a great one for the summer as well!
Have a Water Balloon Fight
Go on a Picnic
Make a Popsicle Stick Puzzle – check out Love and Laundry’s awesome example!
Have a Family/Friends Game Night
Go Bowling
Host a Minute to Win It Night
Go Camping in the Backyard
Have a Spongeball Toss – I’ve seen this called Spongeball Toss, but Inner Child Fun refers to them as Sponge Bombs (#3) on her 20 Favorite Must-Do Activities for Summer.
Go on a Bike Ride
Wash the Car
Stargaze
Help in the Yard
Have a Lemonade Stand
Play Glow Stick Horseshoes – I found this cool activity posted by one of Design Dazzle‘s contributors, Jamie from C.R.A.F.T., titled Summer Camp: Glow In The Dark Ring Toss
Do Sidewalk Chalk Drawings
Write and Illustrate a Story
Host a Talent Show – Check out one of my previous posts, The Power of a Bucket List, to see how much fun this activity was for our friends and family last summer.
Complete a Jigsaw Puzzle
Get a Manicure and Pedicure
Read A Book, Then Watch the Movie – This post on Andrea’s Notebook is perfect to make your search easier for the right book-movie.
Pick a Craft to Make and Make It!
Go Swimming
Eat a Snow Cone
Have a BBQ with Friends
Watch Fireworks on July 4th
Attend a Farmer’s Market or Festival
Play with Mega-Bubbles – Inner Child Fun’s post 20 Favorite Must-Do Activities for Summer teaches you all about how to make this activity possible. Check out #7 for the 4-1-1 on Mega Bubbles.
Read a Book in the Shade of a Tree
Make a Pool Noodle Race Track – Another great source of ideas came from the article on Buzz Feed titled 33 Activities Under $10 That Will Keep Your Kids Busy All Summer. Number 32 on their list shows you how to make a pool noodle race track.
Play Balloon Ping Pong – This activity is #25 on the same Buzz Feed article mentioned above.
Make a Backyard Obstacle Course – While this is #33 on the Buzz Feed article, I think this one is best left up to your imagination!
Go on a Scavenger Hunt
Do a Science Experiment – I have this one on my list since my eldest is a lover of science. I didn’t have anything particular in mind, but just last night I stumbled across this way cool link on Pinterest from Growing a Jeweled Rose, which shares cool summer science experiments for kids!
Make a Painters Tape Spider Web – Here’s the last one I snagged off of the 33 Activities Under $10 That Will Keep Your Kids Busy All Summer. It’s #26 on their list.
Write and Mail a Letter to Someone
Play Hide and Go Seek
Fly a Kite
Go on a Date with Dad
Play Charades or Pictionary

If you want a cute and handy little print out to put up somewhere in your home of all of these awesome activities above, download The Ultimate Summer Bucket List. It’s FREE! I put it together so that I could reference it easily when the kids start to say they’re bored or I feel like I’m losing my mind, which will likely be happening the moment school is out!

May this be your best summer yet!

3 Things That I Want My Kids to Know

May 22, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

Over the past few months, I have felt at odds with myself and my role as a mom. I’ve felt inadequate to say the very least. I realized that it was particularly bad recently when I ended each day feeling heartbroken over my behavior for that given day. As it came time to say my bedtime prayers, I found myself asking for forgiveness for countless moments of impatience and ingratitude that had occurred in the course of my day. Then it seemed the very next day would be filled again with my poor attitude, which would result in moments of unnecessary frustration with my kids. I was beginning to panic a little bit, as I felt their childhood slipping through my fingers and visualized their memories being only that of an impatient mom. I began to feel guilty for not embracing this precious time more fully and joyfully. Of course, then they would drive me crazy by doing any number of the things that kids do and I would lose my cool again. It is a sick cycle, is it not?

I’ve read so many articles and posts about how I need to cherish this time in their lives and then I get in a tizzy over not spending every waking moment glorying in their every move. Then I’ll read an article about how it’s okay to have shortcomings as a parent and take time for myself and so on. I feel like there is this pressure put on me to feel certain things before the moment has passed. But it’s almost as though the pressure of being happy in every moment is taking away from the moment in and of itself. I think what I’m trying to say is, the role of parent has required the most stretching and testing of my character than any other role I have had or performed. In this sense, my children have been my teachers, as they are surely the ones passing out the tests to me. Therefore, if I am to learn and grow from them, then shouldn’t I have moments of pain and frustration with them? Isn’t it okay for me to not shout for joy every time they enter the room? There is a reason we have the term “growing pains” for when our bones and muscles begin to stretch in a way that is beyond our comfort level. Looking at my role in our family in this new light gives me greater peace for those moments where I honestly just don’t want to be touched or hung on, nor do I want to decide what’s for the next meal while I’m still preparing the current meal, nor do I want to fight with my kids over their need to pick up their toys. I just don’t want to do those parts and that’s okay. Nobody wants growing pains either, but we endure those parts for the glorious moment when we come through taller and stronger. I’m willing to do all the hard parts, I just don’t feel like I should have to sing from the mountain tops over those moments either to have truly cherished their childhood.

That all being said, and boy was that more than I had planned for my intro, I wanted to write an open letter to my kids to share with them (and all of you) the three things that I want my kids to know. I feel like my knowledge of these three truths, along with my growing understanding of my role as a parent, and their joint knowledge of these truths will help us all be a stronger family unit.

To My Extraordinary Children ~

I’ve given it some thought and I feel like if you know these three truths, then most everything else that you need to know for a healthy successful life will follow suit.

First, I want you to know that you are a child of a loving Heavenly Father who wants what is best for you so that you may return to His presence. So many good and wonderful principles fall in line if you ponder this truth. The greatest thing you stand to learn though by having this knowledge is that you are of great worth. I spent so many years not understanding my worth. In fact, I still struggle to comprehend what it means to be a daughter of God. I get caught up in the world sometimes and think that somehow I am less of a person because I am not more like someone else who has succeeded in a particular fashion. Don’t get caught up in the world, my sweet children, get caught up in the scriptures, in prayer and the goodness of your Savior, Jesus Christ, and your Heavenly Father.

Second, I, your Mommy, make lots and lots of mistakes. Sometimes I may express to you that I am disappointed in your behavior, but I am often disappointed in my own behavior as well. It may seem that I’m really hard on you. In fact, sometimes, I may be too hard on you based on the situation. It’s because your Mommy is not perfect. None of us are. Parents aren’t always good about pointing out their own faults or admitting when they’re wrong. It’s a pride thing that you’ll understand more about when you’re older. But I want you to know that I goof up, daily. Sometimes I wish I could just be the perfect Mom for you guys, but I think maybe it’s our imperfections that makes us all so good for one another. That’s how we grow and learn to become better. Be patient with me, as you have so far, your Mommy makes mistakes.

Lastly, you are loved beyond comprehension by your Mommy and Daddy. I know Daddy feels the same amount of immeasurable love that I do for you all, but I’ll speak for myself here. I love you more than I can put in to words. Each of you are a gift that I cannot fully believe that I am worthy of having in my life. I’m trying to do a better job at showing my love for you. As a result, I’ve been trying to put my phone down more and watch your simple interactions with the world around you, I’m trying to pray more for patience so that I can have less of those regretful moments where I lose my cool, I’m trying to make sure we read scriptures more so that I can reiterate that first truth that I want you to know, I do all these things because I love you and I want you to know of that love and never doubt it.

Now, I should warn you, knowing these three things will not make life perfect and easy. That’s actually why I wanted you to know the second item about Mommy making mistakes. Mistakes and mishaps happen, but because you are a child of God and your Daddy and I will do all that we can to raise you in a loving home, then you’ll have the tools to move forward and hopefully create your own family that will bring you as much joy as each of you brings to your Dad and I.

My heart is so full of gratitude for each of you. I am sorry for all of the times that I have acted out of frustration and I appreciate all the times you have forgiven me. You three are such great teachers and I’m sure your little brother or sister who is on the way will be no different. I cherish and love you all so very much!

All My Heart,
Mommy

Breaking Through Boredom

May 8, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

Another post later in the week due to another beautiful girl’s birthday taking place. My second oldest is as kind and precious as her picture conveys. Celebrating her birthday was a nice pick-me-up amid a rather tough week. This pregnancy has given my emotions a whirlwind of a ride and I’m about ready to get off.

I saw a “Bored Board” pinned on Pinterest and I had to pin it in my Helpful Tips Board, not my Kids Board. The reason being that I have been bored. It’s not that I don’t have a laundry list of things I should be doing, I just have zero interest or motivation to do them. Even some of the fun things I enjoy or seek out as my time-wasters, Facebook and Pinterest, are of little interest to me. I am bored. That’s why the “Bored Board” was so intriguing to me. The original source that I have found for the “Bored Board” is on a blog called Grateful for the Ride.

I’ve had to force myself to do some of these items this week just to hold on to my sanity. I think that’s what made my daughter’s birthday such a fun day was that I really got to put the “Bored Board” into practice. I was able to…

Be creative with her birthday cake…

Enjoy Outside play while we flew kites…

Read this darling children’s book to the birthday girl’s class called What Animals Really Like…

and Did something helpful by…um…WAIT! Isn’t my whole role as a Mom to be doing something helpful? I’m pretty sure I could put a lot down for the letter ‘D.’ You may be asking yourself, “Sara, what about the letter ‘E’ for exercise?” Yeah, that one has kind of eluded me lately. Having had two preemie babies, I do what I can to keep a baby in me for as long as possible. Twenty minutes of exercise isn’t conducive to that goal. Although, I’m sure my body could stand a 20 minute walk around the neighborhood. However, I feel like just running errands with a toddler in tow should count as an exercise. I know I have to exercise a lot of patience to survive it.

So, there you have it. I’m still battling the feelings of boredom, but applying the “Bored Board” really did help break up the doldrums. What do you do to break through the boredom?

Parenting is Hard

May 1, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

As mentioned in a post I wrote last year, Living a Life with Laughter, my family and I love to utilize our TableTopics at the dinner table. Most of the time we sit down to the questions when we have guests over, but sometimes we use them for our simple family dinners. One family dinner a couple months ago, the question came up, “What’s the toughest thing you’ve ever had to do?” A couple answers that crossed my mind were, “Having to say goodbye to my Mom and dealing with my depression.” Both of those options sounded a little too deep for my young children. Then, the real answer hit me – being a Mom. I shared my answer and my husband responded, “Isn’t that supposed to be the most rewarding thing?” I agreed with him and clarified that motherhood was, in fact, both the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life.

Then, I got to thinking about this quote I read by Matt Walsh, a blog writer, who wrote, “Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.” I know this statement to be true based on my inner dialogue alone. I have all these ideas and opinions about what parenting should consist of and yet implementing those ideals is near impossible at times. My optimal day of success in parenting involves healthy well-balanced meals, limited to zero screen time, reading, outdoor play time, a dance party, snuggle time and a solid bedtime routine that ends at a decent hour. However, a realistic day in successful parenting consists of all three meals making it in front of my children, a change at some point during the day from PJ’s into real clothes, and a bath before bed. See the difference? I’m looking at that optimal day scenario and wondering if such a day has ever existed in our home? I’ve taken pieces of each element of that day, but I don’t know that I’ve ever managed to pull off a day with all of those criteria met. Parenting is hard, it’s that simple. Anybody who tells you otherwise isn’t doing it right. You caught the irony in that last sentence, right? Please tell me you caught the irony.

We still do it though, don’t we? I’m not talking about the parenting part here, I’m talking about the opinion portion of Walsh’s quote. We still have our opinions. I know I do. Like I said, I have opinions for myself on the matter, not just others. There are two things though that I’ve learned about my opinions on parenting. First, the moment I’m convinced that my child-rearing will not produce the toddler heathens that I’ve witnessed at the park or grocery store, is the moment my child turns into said toddler heathen. Second, for the times that I’ve had an opinion on a child whom I’ve known and taken the time to genuinely speak with the parent, I am always humbled about how much effort they have already been putting in to the well-being of their child. Sometimes I get this idea that if the parent would just do x-y-and-z, then the child’s behavior would improve, only to find out that x-y-and-z was attempted years ago along with a hundred other ideas to help their child with their specific need. It’s so easy to have an opinion from afar, but there really is no perfect formula in raising a child.

I think the lack of a solid formula in child-rearing is exactly what qualifies parenting as the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. It’s the miracle that sometimes my parenting ideals will result in success. Then being wise enough to realize that the techniques that proved successful with one child will not necessarily work with another. This is where I find that prayer is the most crucial tool in parenting. Nobody knows your child better than our Father in Heaven. Not the wisest of scholars nor the most adept physician. Nobody. If there is any opinion you’re looking for on parenting, I suggest it be the opinion that comes through prayer and understanding that is individualized for your sweet child. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of valid opinions out there to help raise a well-balanced child. But don’t count yourself a failure the moment your kid acts out like the heathen toddler you feared or you let them have candy and then go to bed without brushing. I remember when my eldest was born, I was feverishly reading the book On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the GIFT of Nighttime Sleep. I was convinced that if I did everything the book told me, I would have the perfect sleeper. I started to get anxiety over the matter and was constantly referencing this book to make my every move. It was getting ridiculous. The irony was that there were portions of the book that encouraged the reader to follow their instincts. It took me over a month to have a little faith in myself and throw the book aside. The moment I realized that Baby Wise’s idea of the perfect formula was not full-proof, was the moment I learned there is no perfect formula at all. However, if by chance such a formula exists in parenting, I imagine it looks something like this: Love + Patience = Enough. Now, good luck trying to sort out all the opinions offered up on what each of those words equates to in thought and deed when it comes to parenting.

Lastly, before you go thinking I’m anti-opinions, know that I’m quite the opposite. There is much to be said for opinions on parenting. I have benefited a hundred times over from the suggestions of other parents who have paved the way before me. I have just also learned that sometimes you can read the entire book front-to-back and still come to the conclusion that it needs to be thrown aside and followed by prayer. So, let me reiterate, parenting is hard and anybody who tells you otherwise isn’t doing it right.

Stop Comparing and Reclaim Joy!

April 25, 2014February 10, 2016 ~ Sara W. ~ 3 Comments

I’m a little late writing a post this week, but it is for a good reason. I had the pleasure of celebrating my eldest’s 8th birthday and throwing her a wild animal party with her friends this week. Note to Self: Hosting a birthday party with 20 kids will physically and emotionally drain you as a six-month pregnant woman. Whew. Survival was only made possible due to my better half being there to help every step of the way. Hooray for helpful husbands!

Each time one of my children turns a year older, I reflect on life as it was around their birth. Birthdays have a tendency of making us reflective that way. Particularly when it comes to children, we think about growth and development. I saw this quote by author and artist, Doe Zantamata, that seemed fitting to share this week, in which our family celebrated my beautiful daughter’s birthday. Zantamata wrote on her blog The HIYLife, “If your parents ever measured you as a child, they had you stand against a wall, and made a little pencil mark on the wall to show your growth. They did not measure you against your brother, or the neighbor’s kids, or kids on TV. When you measure your growth, make sure to only measure your today self by your past self.” I needed this reminder as much for myself as for the healthy raising of my children.

Just this week, as I was attempting to make my daughter’s party cupcake tops look like zebra stripes using chocolate sprinkles on top of white frosting, I stood there comparing myself to others. To be precise, I said out loud to my husband, “If my Mom could see how poorly I was doing this, she would be rolling over in her grave.” My husband, in his kindness said, “If your Mom was here she would be playing with the kids or dipping these strawberries in chocolate and would not be fussing over your cupcakes.” I smiled at the idea of my Mom actually being there and how she would be too busy helping to critique. Don’t get me wrong, my Mom had her thoughts on such matters, but she was never one to compare. Of course, my self-bashing still continued as each cupcake seemed to get worst and worst. I began mumbling negative thoughts under my breath and starting to plot my submission to the Pinterest Fails, as surely another woman out there had done this better than me. They really looked nothing like zebra stripes. The chocolate sprinkles were just too big to pull off the idea I had in mind. My husband suggested that I just skip the striped plan and make them black and white. Done. They actually looked much better after his suggestion. But the thought occurred to me, would I have been so hard on myself had I not thought of what my Mom was capable of in the kitchen or the myriad of amazing results I’ve seen on Pinterest? The cupcakes somehow became more acceptable when I just looked at them as my personal offering to the party guests versus the end product of all marvelous things created by others in the kitchen. It was amazing how much better I felt once I let go of my urge to compare myself to others.

Unfortunately, that’s what the natural part of me does. It’s the same with this blog. As I’ve mentioned before, I struggled to start such a blog based on the mere fact that others out there write better than me. My logic told me, “what’s the point in writing at all, if others can do it so exceptionally well?”. Even worse, I’m certain I do it with my kids too. I make a conscience effort not to do it, but if I can get caught up in a cupcake decorating frenzy, I have got to be doing this to my kids without even knowing. My two girls, with only two years between them, seem to constantly be in a struggle with what each of them has and does not have. I fear I may be adding to it. While my husband and I are constantly telling them that it’s most important to be themselves, as Everyone Else is Already Taken, I may very well be comparing them merely in just how I discipline them. I cringe at how many times I have said to my eldest, “How is it that your sister who is two years younger can listen and follow directions, but you can’t?” Ugh. It’s embarrassing to even type such things, but I’m an impatient and an imperfect woman and these things happen in our home. I don’t condone them, but still they happen. I would never let my girls speak to themselves the way I sometimes speak to myself. Nor would I let them compare themselves to any other kid. Yet I seem to do comparisons naturally. Any chance I can place some blame on being taught how to do Venn Diagrams as a kid?

All joking aside, comparing yourself with another is an ugly habit and it begets ugly feelings. I find that most all of my moments of discouragement and disappointment are rooted with my actions of comparisons. Not comparing my today self with my past self, but comparing myself with others. Come to think of it, the last time I had a good cry-fest (these happen more frequently while I’m pregnant) was last week when I was sitting comparing my life without having my Mom around with others who still get to have their Moms around. I even wrote a post on Over The Big Moon entitled Because of Him about working through the process and letting go of my “have not” attitude. Oh vey, Readers. I think we may have a bigger beast on our hands than I realized. This issue really is just as Theodore Roosevelt stated, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

I don’t want to rob myself nor my children of such joy. I’m praying that my heightened awareness of this matter within myself and in our home will help me to eradicate it. As always, I invite you to share your insights and suggestions in the comments section. Obviously, I have much to learn. I see and understand all the drawbacks that come from comparing ourselves to others. That part I know. But how do you stop from comparing yourself to others and comparing your children with other children when it seems to come naturally? Is it as simple as Bob Newhart says in one of the most hilarious bits I’ve seen regarding therapy? Do I just STOP IT?!

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: