Children

Teaching Your Kids About the Birds and the Bees

~ Sara W. ~ 2 Comments

You may recall, that I mentioned this topic was on the horizon in my previous post An Inspiring Bucket List.  So, here it is.  After all the build up and angst in giving my eldest the “birds and the bees talk,” then having it go down rather successfully, I felt the need to share my thoughts on the matter.


While I don’t think there is a certain age that kids should learn about this sensitive topic, I am a firm believer that you should teach your children on the matter before the world gets to them first.  Be forewarned, the world is getting to them earlier and faster.  The biggest risk of waiting to give “the talk” is leaving your children susceptible to all of the mis-education that they will receive on the playground.

Earlier this year, my daughter, who was a second grader at the time, was heard using an inappropriate word that was tied with this topic.  We learned that a boy in school often used this word.  The word itself was not bad, as much as it was inappropriately being said.  My husband and I realized quickly that in order for her to best understand what is and is not appropriate to discuss publicly, she needed to understand the whole picture.  I suggested we wait until summer, which was already fast approaching at the time.  I thought it might be best to discuss the matter during a time where she could not race off to school and be around a bunch of kids that she might be anxious to tell.  So, we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I just couldn’t get the courage to pull it off.

Soon Labor Day Weekend was upon us and school would be starting back in less than a week.  I had put it off long enough.  I discussed the matter with other seasoned parents.  A couple of them shared that the talk was easier with the help of a book.  I decided to give that route a try and headed to the library to see what books were available that were tasteful and informative.  It was then that I came across Before I Was Born by Carolyn Nystrom.  This book is book two in the God’s Design for Sex series.  It also happens to be the key to our success with giving “the talk.”.

My husband and I brought our daughter in to read to her portions of the book that were most pertinent for our discussion.  Before reading it, I asked my daughter what she might already know about sex.  This was some great advice that I got from a friend, as it helped me to know where she was in her understanding beforehand.  Once we figured that out, we began to read from the above mentioned book, which made it so much easier.  It shared what needed to be said and left out what didn’t need to be said.  It helped me from fumbling over my words and made it less embarrassing for all.  Plus, the best part is that it opened up the lines of communication should she have more questions down the road.

I want our children to feel comfortable talking to us about any and all topics of life.  I want them to know that they are safe to speak openly with us without judgment or mockery.  I want them to know of our love for them and the love that our Heavenly Father has for them.  In short, I want them to see their lives for all of it’s beauty before the world tells them of all it’s own deception.

The whole experience was much less painful than I had anticipated.  It actually turned out to be a positive experience in which our daughter felt comfortable asking us questions and continued to do so in the following days.  Plus, we were able to express to her the sacred nature of creation and how treating it as such helps us to understand the importance of modesty and appropriate language.  I feel grateful for the guidance my husband and I received through prayer and the resources that were made available to us for this to go smoothly.  Best of all, I know I got to my daughter before the world did.

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First Friday Find: The Care and Keeping of You

~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

Yes, I know.  I am well aware that today is actually the second Friday of October.  Last week slipped through my fingers before I even knew what happened.  My husband joked that my First Friday Find should be about some sort of day planner, since I obviously need one.  I have plenty of organizing apps that I love that keep me on task.  So, no problems there.  It’s the whole motherhood of four thing that is giving me a run for my money.  Seriously, now I know why parents say that time flies and before you know it your kids are out of the house.  My days have been racing by faster than my daughters that I just cheered on at their Jog-a-thon.  So, here I am on the second Friday to report of a book that my girls and I are reading called The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls.  This book is a gem worth sharing.

I was chatting with a friend when she mentioned that she and her daughter read through this awesome book The Care and Keeping of You.  The book shares all the things a girl might need to know about entering puberty.  And I mean EVERYTHING.  Plus, it does it in a very tasteful manner and is geared towards, well, younger girls.  My friend had said that she read it along with her daughter and that it opened up a lot of good dialogue.
So, I set off to pick it up at the library and I keep renewing it since my daughters and I are gaining so much from reading it.  We’ve been reading bits and pieces here and there.  I think it might be time to face the facts and realize that I need my very own copy for my girls to reference as needed.  Oh how I wish such a book existed when I was younger.  I was so clueless and my Mom was not the type to discuss matters of puberty with me.  Obviously, I figured it out alright, but I just really like the guided direction it gives me with our girls so that we have an open communication line on sensitive topics, such as body images and the woes of puberty.
My husband took a moment to skim through it the other night and he was amazed at how much information it provided for readers.  He was saying, “If I was a single Dad, I would totally be reading this to my daughters.  What a great resource.”  He then went on to say that, “Guys just don’t have this kind of stuff.  This is really useful information for girls.”
So, there you have it!  Three separate people have spoken highly of this book as a tool to teach young girls about puberty and open up some healthy dialogue on the matter.  Those are better odds than my theory that “Two makes it true.”
If you’re a parent of a young girl, I hope you’ll take my advice and add this book to your library!  I know I’m done renewing this book and plan to get my very own copy.
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Free Printable Awesome Autumn Bucket List

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

Happy October!  I’m sure you’re already busy making autumn memories with your families.  If not yet, you’ve probably seen your fair share of autumn and fall bucket lists that have you feeling excited about the crispness in the air, the crunch of leaves under your feet, and the idea of wrapping your hands around a delightfully warm drink.  My hope is to kick off October by giving you some added ideas to make this your most awesome autumn to date!


My love of bucket lists knows no season.  Take a look at the bucket list I’ve created for our family to complete over the next couple months.  The list is pretty self-explanatory.  The only item that may need some research is “Make a Fall craft.”  I thought about giving some ideas, but we all have different types of crafts we prefer and Pinterest is loaded with more ideas than you can pin.  I tend to lean towards the mess-free crafts.

If you want this cute and handy print out to put up somewhere in your home, download the FREE Printable Awesome Autumn Bucket List for your family.  I know I plan to put it up on my fridge for reference.

May you enjoy many happy memories this season!

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A Perfectly Imperfect Life

~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

You know those moments when you’re yelling at your kids and the thought crosses your mind, “Wow, I hope the neighbors can’t hear me.”?  Oh yeah, that doesn’t happen to me either.  Well, what about when you’re tucking your kids in bed and you have to take your foot and kick the toys aside to create a path so that they don’t trip and fall in the middle of the night when they come running to you to report a bad dream?  Oh, you don’t do that either?  Neither do I.  I was just making you feel better in case that’s what you have to do in your home.  Surely you have walked around in your dining area after the kids have gone to bed only to step on a soggy Life cereal piece from breakfast that morning (or perhaps several mornings ago) and then taken another step and landed on a dry piece of Life cereal that has now scattered into a pile of cereal dust that you intend to ignore until a later time?  Duh!  Of course that doesn’t happen in my home either.  I was just checking if you were that mean, messy, and lazy.  I’m certainly not.  Psh.  I wish.  All of the above are real life events in my home.  They also happen to be events that leave me often feeling like I’m failing at this whole homemaking thing.


I have it on good authority though that I am not alone in the homemaking world of messes and chaos.  I know this because I recently posted the following Instagram photo and caption:

 Walked away from this mess two hours ago to work on getting 4 kids to bed. Just finished doing that and returned to this reality. Keeping it real.

I received comments from multiple women sharing that their kitchens looked the same.  But how am I supposed to believe them when I come over and their home looks more like this every single time?

Sometimes I get this idea that everyone has their act together except me.  Rational Sara figures this isn’t true, but Rational Sara also tends to take a leave of absence from time to time.  And when she leaves, Natural Sara takes over and the emotional beatings begin.

There’s a part of me that has always been insecure, but I wonder if social media has exacerbated the issue in my life?  I saw this quote from Steven Furtick that read, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”  That quote has been rolling around in my mind ever since.  I’m not wanting to see my Facebook feed filled with negativity or Debbie Downer moments, but I secretly love walking in to a friend’s home to find it less than perfectly orderly or to overhear a fellow mom grow impatient with their child, because it reminds me that I’m not alone in my inadequacies.  It makes me realize how important it is to be honest about ourselves with one another, especially among women.  Our lives are comprised of behind-the-scenes and highlight reels and we can’t have one without the other.  In fact, there also happens to be a stellar blooper reel in the Special Features section of our home.  I think it’s important to remember that a good life is not a perfect life.

Shortly after reading the above mentioned quote for the first time, I saw a Facebook status from a friend of mine.  She showed herself vacationing in Las Vegas with the comment, “Re-charging my battery to get through all the “behind the scenes” life moments.”  I simply “Liked” the status update, but what I wanted to say was, “Huzzah!  Thanks for keeping it real.”

I guess it’s not fair to blame social media completely.  I remember when I was a new Mom and struggling with Postpartum Depression, I kept all of the pain to myself because I figured surely nobody else had ever felt this low.  I had a narrow perception of inner turmoil at this point in my life.  Then one day, as I was sitting with some girlfriends from church, I alluded to the fact that this motherhood stuff was hard.  I didn’t confess how hard it had become for me, but enough that these women knew my heart.  They both were quick to say, “Don’t be fooled by what you see on Sunday.”  I don’t believe that they were implying that they feign perfection at church.  I think there point was that it’s easy to believe that everyone’s behind-the-scenes are jolly when you watch a family sit quietly in a pew while wearing their Sunday best.  I think this was the first time that I really began to see the uplift that takes place when we let our walls down and share our imperfect lives with others.  It eases the burden of loneliness.

And I think that’s just what I wanted to share today – you’re not alone.  You’re not alone in your messy, impatient, stressful, chaotic, and sometimes lonely, world.  I know this, because I am right there with you.  Obviously, I am not there holding your hand, but I am confirming any lies you’ve told yourself about how other homes are perfectly succeeding at homemaking and/or any other role as an adult.  And I’m sharing these thoughts to serve as my own personal reminder when Rational Sara decides to take her next leave of absence.

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The Words of a Kept Woman

~ Sara W. ~ 5 Comments

My husband came home from work last week and shared with me how one of his co-workers called him a derogatory name and walked off for no apparent reason.  There is a lot of teasing that goes on at his work.  However, this was not one of those teasing moments.  He turned to his other co-worker who was standing there with him and said, “I sure wish I could figure out what I did wrong.”  His co-worker responded with, “I can tell you what it is.  It’s because you have a kept woman at home.  It’s because your wife stays home with the kids.”  I cut him off quickly with an, “Excuse me?”  The kind of “excuse me” that I dish out to my kids when they speak to me rudely and I am left in disbelief.  It wasn’t in a sweet tender tone.  I was floored.  My husband goes on to say that the co-worker who believes that I am a “kept woman” considers herself to be a liberated woman; a woman not bound by traditional sexual and social roles.  If this is the kind of behavior of a liberated woman, consider me a kept woman.  That being said, let me give you my life as a kept woman.

In preparing to be a kept woman, I attended a four year university and obtained a B.A. in Communications.  Shortly after graduating, I married this incredible man for time and all eternity.  My degree afforded me an amazing opportunity to work full-time and be the primary provider for our family while my husband worked part-time and went to school to obtain his A.A. in nursing.  I had always dreamed of being an at-home Mom and both my husband and I saw it as the preferred way to raise our children.  After our second daughter was born, we struggled with the idea of losing my income even though he was now a full-time nurse.  We took a leap of faith and mutually made the decision for me to stay home with our daughters.  Money quickly grew tight in our home, but we felt confident that we had made the right choice for our family.  I have nothing against being a working Mom.  In fact, I was one during the first years of my eldest’s life.  But, for my husband and I, we were at a point in our family’s life where me staying home and caring for the kids became our priority.

So, what does the life of a kept woman look like for me?  Well, I am happily married to that same incredible man who asked for my hand in marriage over ten years ago.  We have four beautiful children that he helps me raise.  We work incredibly well as a team.  When it comes to matters of the kitchen, he cooks, I clean.  I try to get the wash done in one day about once a week.  He often gets the ball rolling for me and switches out loads when I forget.  He cleans the bathrooms and takes out the trash.  I clean the dishes and the floors.  If you noticed there’s no dusting allocated, it’s because it gets done so rarely that I’m not sure I can even count it as a chore.  We jointly nag our children to pick up after themselves.  On days that he has off, we strive to spend time together as a family and get some of our errands done as a team.  He often encourages me to get out and spend time with my girlfriends.  He knows I’m not a morning person so he handles all of the morning routine when he can so that I can sleep in.  Then, on days when has to work a 12-hour night shift, I may end up spending the whole day gallivanting with the kids while he sleeps.  He works a 12-hour night shift because the pay is more and it allows him the opportunity to spend more time with his family and attend church on Sunday.  To recap, as a kept woman, I get to live out my lifelong desire to be an at-home mom to our children while simultaneously being married to a man who supports, loves, respects and encourages me in every single aspect of my life.

So, dear liberated woman, please reconsider your opinion of my husband and your perceived knowledge of me and our life.  I’m surprised that you don’t give me enough credit, as a woman, to make choices for myself and our family.  While there may be other at-home moms who live your misconceptions of the role, that is not the case in our home.  I am not bound by traditional roles, I happen to find the traditional role of a woman as beautiful and desirable.  And have therefore chosen it for myself with the support of my husband.

Let me close with the words of Whitney M. Young, an American civil rights leader, “There is nothing noble in being superior to somebody else.  The only real nobility is in being superior to your former self.”

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Attitudes Are Contagious

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment
I recently made the choice to stop contributing on Over the Big Moon.  While I loved the opportunity to add to their website, I felt that I needed to focus more on our family and my recent health concerns.  I would still like to share those past posts here on my own site.  This post below was published back in March, which explains why I still reference being pregnant within the text.  I hope you enjoy!  This is one of my favorite posts and I was glad I had the chance to read it again!

I was skimming through a couple of my books this past week to read the highlighted portions.  I came across one line in a book that stated that courage was contagious and then another book wrote of confidence being contagious.  I nodded in agreement; my own life having been impacted by another’s confidence and courage that they had showed in theirs.  Then, I thought to look up some quotes about these attitudes being contagious.  It turns out, according to a Google search, kindness is contagious too, as is fear, creativity, enthusiasm, cruelty and the list goes on.  Apparently, we are a contagious sort of people.  
There was this one quote though that summed it up, “Attitudes are contagious.  Are yours worth catching?”  The irony of the quote is that it was said by two people.  I had yet to see a quote credited to two people until this one.  I imagined a husband and wife sitting in the same room and the thought must have been so contagious that they both uttered the words simultaneously.  The idea makes me giggle to myself.
I could wrap this post up right now with this poignant quote and call it a day, but I think it’s worth discussing the influence our attitudes can have on those around us.  As I mentioned above, I witnessed the attitudes of courage and confidence in others and it made a significant impact in my life.  Particularly, the attitude of courage.  
About two years ago, I lived in Southern California.  I had plans to spend the rest of my days there.  Most all of my friends and family lived in a 50 mile radius.  It was home.  Unfortunately, it was taking a greater toll on me to live there than I had realized.  The financial strains of the high cost of living, the fast paced life, and the overpopulation were wearing on me.  I felt that a move out of the state would be helpful, but I didn’t have the courage to leave everything I knew behind.  Certainly, there were several reasons that eventually made our out-of-state-move possible, but one of the big ones was the courage of a dear couple whom I admire greatly.  This couple had lived in my hometown for over thirty years and raised their kids in the same home that entire time.  Their home was the type where one always felt welcomed.  Two summers ago, with all of their children grown, they sold their home and moved to Utah.  As I joined in a couple gatherings to say farewell to this amazing couple, I sat back and witnessed the courage it was taking for the wife, particularly, to leave the “home” she had known behind.  But I saw that it was not the end of the world.  I guess I subconsciously thought it would be the end of the world for me if I moved, as it would be the end of the only world I had known up until that point.  The attitude of courage among this couple was indeed contagious.  Saying goodbye to them was one more piece to the puzzle that was coming together for us to move our lives out-of-state.  It was the piece of courage.  Courage that I so desperately needed.  Courage that brought us to a place that I now lovingly call home.
For every positive attitude that gets passed along in our daily actions, there is also the negative that we can, perhaps unintentionally, put out there.  I know this is certainly the case in our own home.  These past couple days are a perfect example.  I have been stressed out and trying to deal with the aches and pains that come with pregnancy.  While I’ve tried to keep my patience, my attitude has been less than positive and upbeat.  In fact, I have been rude and unkind.  My kids got the brunt of it.  My eldest, who soaks up my mood like a sponge, started to get sassy and then overly emotional.  Hmmmm.  I wonder where she got that from?  Oh yeah, ME!  Like the stomach bug that quickly spreads through an entire household, my poor attitude was picked up and passed along until everyone in the home was on edge.  It was like an epidemic and, regretfully, I was at the heart of it.
Attitudes are contagious whether we want them to be or not.  Just like a child is more likely to catch a stomach bug that’s spreading through a home than an adult, they’re also more likely to catch our poor attitude.  My guess is that it’s because a child is not going to break down our behavior and cut us some slack.  It will simply be, “Mom’s being mean.  I’m going to be mean.”  It’s not malicious, it’s just the nature of things.  Whereas, my husband may be more inclined to think things through with, “Sara seems on edge.  I wonder what’s really bothering her or if she’s feeling OK?”  Having patience with our children, during those moments when our negative attitudes start being thrown back at us, can help prevent added angst.  We need to understand that we have the opportunity to spread the attitude of joy or contention to those we come in contact with daily. Of course, be realistic.  We should not be expected to exude enthusiasm at all points in our day.  Our children need to understand that the downs happen too.  But we don’t need to dwell in those downs.  I had the opportunity this past week to recognize my poor attitude and strive to change it for the better for the sake of our home.
Tuesday was a particularly busy morning and it seemed that my daughter was needier than usual.  I kept trying to concentrate on a task and she kept asking me 101 questions.  I grew impatient and snapped at her.  She was just bored and wanted to make a snowflake.  A snowflake that would have resulted in me making it, which I felt too busy to do at the time.  When I completed my task, she had already given up on trying to get my attention.  I realized that I had been a grump and took my stress out on her unnecessarily.  I went and made her the best paper snowflake that I could and apologized to her for being a grouch.  I did my best for the rest of the day to be kinder and not dwell in my low.  I wasn’t perfect, but my sincere apology must have left an impression, as she mentioned multiple times through out the day, “It’s okay if you’re a grouch, Mom.”  I suppose the attitude of forgiveness may be contagious too.
Let us all reflect on the attitudes we are carrying around and ask ourselves if it’s something we want our children, our loved ones, and our communities to catch.  The best part about sending out positive attitudes is that their contagious nature results in them coming back our way.  What a beautiful gift to give the world and ourselves; that of a positive attitude.
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First Friday Find: Chatbooks

~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

I hope my readers are aware that I come up with these First Friday Finds (FFF) just by pure discovery.  There are no companies trying to get me to endorse their products or services.  To know I’m speaking the truth, you only need look at how few people come through this site.  It wouldn’t be worth their time.  That being said, I am completely stoked about this month’s find.

I found out about Chatbooks through friends of mine who posted about their personal chatbooks on Instagram.  Basically, it’s a company that takes your Instagram photos and puts them in to a 6″x 6″ photobook that’s processed on 100# glossy photo paper.  This product is called the Instagram Series.  The best part is that it’s only $6!  To my understanding, they’ll ship you a new book and charge you $6 every time that you have 60 additional pictures on your Instagram.  I believe you can omit pictures, if you’d like.  Each page includes the date, the picture, and the caption.  The comments are not included.  I love this concept so much because it’s a perfect way to do some non-traditional journaling, if you’re not good at writing things down.

(Photo found on Chatbooks.com)


They also have this way cool thing called Chatbook Series.  If I understand it correctly, you create this chat and multiple people can text pictures with captions to the chat.  Then, when it reaches 60 pictures, it goes to print.  This is an awesome idea for creating a photo album that includes extended family.  I would love to do this with my siblings so that my kids could see more pictures of their cousins who live far away.

Now, if it sounds like I don’t have firsthand experience with this find, you are correct.  Unfortunately, they currently only offer this service to iPhone users.  But, have no fear, it appears as though it will be made available to Android users THIS month!  How fitting to share it for this month’s find, eh?

For those who may already have their hands on their very own Chatbook, please share your thoughts!  I’m so excited to get some nice little photo albums of my digital prints.  I want my kids to have easier access to all of the pictures from the fun experiences we’ve had.  I feel like it helps bring to mind how truly blessed we are as a family!

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Living in the Moment

~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

I had the pleasure of attending the concert of one of my favorite bands, Dave Matthews Band, the other night.  It was my seventh time seeing them live, but this was by far the most intimate venue I had seen them at.  I had the opportunity to get up close to the stage.  And, as most excited fans would, I wanted to capture the moment with my phone.  Sadly, my phone had 1% remaining of its charge.  I snapped a few shots before I shared the news with my husband that my phone had died.  His response, “Uh-oh, looks like you’re going to have to live in the moment now.”  A woman standing in front of us overheard him and chimed in with, “Now you can enjoy the concert the best way.  Congratulations!”  Now, if you know me, you know I am often taking pictures.  My friends joke that I am the unofficial photographer for their families when we are hanging out together.  Mind you, I’m not good at taking them, but I do like to be able to catch the joy of the moment.  However, I get what my husband and this stranger were pointing out.  I do tend to get carried away and miss out on the beauty of just being in the moment.


As the concert went on, I, the usual photo taker, grew irritated with the many people who had their phones up to take pictures or video almost constantly.  I found myself watching the concert through their phone screen versus being able to see the concert firsthand.  One woman even held up an iPad, not a mini one either, to take video.  Seriously, woman?  Even I know that violates photography etiquette.  I’m not saying I was suddenly converted by the remarks of my husband and said stranger, but I did my best to embrace all the wonder and excitement that was around me.  Still, there were a couple times I was wishing my phone hadn’t died yet.  This makes me wonder, is there a happy medium?  And, if so, where is it?

I find it funny that the time in your life that warrants the most capturing, which to me is when you’re raising young children, is when you have so little time to write down all the milestones and events in yours and their lives.  I want to always remember that my girls tell me, “Don’t wrestle any alligators in your sleep,” as part of our bedtime ritual.  They got this silly statement from their Dad and it still makes me smile.  I want to remember the tone and tenderness of the way my toddler simply says, “Thank you, Mommy.”  I want to remember the piggy noises my infant son makes.  I want to remember all of these things.  And I’m afraid my memory alone may not be sufficient.  So, I try to capture what I can.  And, sometimes when I get really lucky, somebody captures the moment for me, while I’m living in it.

Let’s be honest though, this isn’t just about me taking pictures.  This whole “living in the moment” concept extends to the overuse of social media and all the distractions it brings as well.  I am so bad about getting sucked in to catching up on people’s lives via Facebook and Instagram.  It’s really quite sad.  My silly task-oriented self feels this sick need to see every recent update before closing out of Facebook.  I have this silly fear that I’m going to miss out on somebody’s engagement announcement, or baby arrival, or health issue, or whatever the case may be.  Oh, how I need to work on this part of my life.  I’m assuming I’m not alone?  If I am alone, tell me how you do it?  How do you make a point to focus on the priorities and live in the moment?  Perhaps my excessive picture taking and social media checking is more rampant right now since I am smitten by the precious expressions of my newborn and feeding him every 3 hours, which seems to pass by faster when my phone entertains me?  Although, who am I kidding?  This issue is not a new one in my life.

So, what say ye, dear readers?  Any ideas on how to better live in the moment and simultaneously capture the moment?  Do you snap a few pictures and then hope your battery dies on your camera or phone?  Do you set a time limit for social media use (which I tried and failed at)?  Do you shut off your phone completely at the same time everyday?  I feel like I keep trying to find a way to let go and make the most of the moment and my time, but something keeps pulling me back in.

I tend to lose sight of the proper balance and I need your help!  How do I capture the moment without it preventing me from living in the moment?

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Are You Enrolled in Parenting 505?

~ Sara W. ~ Leave a comment

This coming Sunday, I will have the privilege of posting on Over the Big Moon (OTBM).  I appreciate the opportunity that I have to contribute to their site.  This week, I’d like to post one of my previous OTBM posts here on my blog.  Since this post was originally written earlier this year, I feel the need to clarify that I am now the mother of four beautiful and delightful children.  It’s always good for me to re-read my past posts, as it reminds me of positive insight I have received that I tend to forget.  Whether this is your first time or fifth time reading this post, I hope you will find it beneficial for you as well.


I have three wonderful children and one on the way.  As any mother of multiple children will tell you, each child comes with their unique personality.  It baffles me how children being raised the same way can bring such a different dynamic to the family unit.  As it stands right now, my eldest is my most challenging child.  I used to say that with frustration, but lately I’ve been feeling pretty darn grateful for the difficulties I face with her.  It sounds strange, right?  But over the past three years, what were once feelings of irritation in raising my eldest have now turned into appreciation for all that I’ve learned.  This transformation did not come without cause.

Almost three years ago, I heard this talk by Lynn G. Robbins that I have referenced several times since.  The portion of his talk that stuck with me and led to my change in perspective was this, “A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101.  If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505…With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed and refined?  Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?”  Those words were enlightening to me.

My eldest is actually a really amazing little girl.  It’s more my struggle in learning how to be a mother that leads she and I to butt heads so often.  Also, it doesn’t help that she’s a lot like me.  I’m still trying to figure out how to handle myself, let alone raise a mini-me.  How do you teach a child to communicate calmly when you yourself are quick to escalate?  Motherhood is just tough stuff and it gets more challenging when you’re raising the child who tends to test your patience to the nth degree.

I think about my various struggles with my eldest over the years and most every incident resulted in me learning a lesson.  The most obvious lesson I’ve had to learn repeatedly is patience.  I will likely be tested on this virtue until I leave this world.  I am just not very patient.  However, if I have made any improvement in this department, I owe it entirely to my eldest who has given me multiple instances to try and try again.  I write these words with sincerity.  Of course, in the middle of our battles, I could not tell you that I am grateful for her behavior nor my own.  But reflecting on how far I’ve come through the years has humbled me.

Another thing that my eldest has taught me is how to refine myself to be the woman and mother that I want to be.  Previously, I just sort of floated through life thinking I was a decent person and likable enough and that was that.  I didn’t feel like I owed it to anyone to be the best version of myself.  I wasn’t trying to be a lesser version of myself, I just hadn’t given it any thought one way or the other.  That can change when you have a child, whether they be the prerequisite to Parenting 101 or Parenting 505.  Realizing that I am the model for my children’s behavior has made me evaluate what kind of model I am giving them.  Many of us are familiar with the saying, “When you point one finger, three fingers are pointing back at you.”  I feel like all the disappointed finger pointing I have done towards my children has led me to really reflect on my role in their behavior.  As a result, I’ve had the chance to work on my shortcomings.

That’s what I love about life.  We can change and grow.  There are exceptions to the rule, of course.  The number one exception being that change will not happen if one does not truly want it to be so.  But I believe that change can happen.  I’ve seen it happen in my own life.  I have terrible memories of how I would respond to my daughter when we didn’t see eye-to-eye.  I still catch myself getting caught up in a moment and reverting back to my senseless yelling.  I thought I was helping by scolding her so much that she would not want to ever see that side of me.  But she’s taught me that my method does no good with her personality.  I have had to humble myself.  I continually pray for guidance on how to best raise her so that she can reach her full potential.  What is more conducive to change and growth than humbling yourself and admitting that maybe you really don’t know what’s best?  That’s what Parenting 505 can teach you.  The child that enrolls you in Parenting 505 is the child that says, “Nope.  You still have more to learn.”

Through out my learning process with my eldest, I have come to realize that the number one trigger to her poor behavior is when I’m not doing well personally.  She feeds off of the vibe I’m sending out.  This has been eye-opening for me, as I have to step back and try to find the true root of our struggle.  Sometimes it’s my sincere irritation with one of her white lies and other times it’s ill-founded frustration that I take out on her because I’m stressed about something else.  The latter being an unbecoming behavior that I long to change.  And then I think again about Robbins words, “Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?”

I’m realizing that I need my eldest more than she needs me.  Being a mother to her has strengthened my resolve to be better and do better each day.  I’m truly grateful that my eldest enrolled me in Parenting 505 and I pray that I don’t fail her or the class.

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First Friday Find: SPLAT!

~ Sara W. ~ 1 Comment

I know, I know, this should hardly be considered a First Friday post, as I am barely getting this in before midnight.  I’ll just pull the New-Baby-Card and we’ll call it good.  This month’s find is just a silly little toy that our family fell in love with when we were at the County Fair this past week.  Speaking of the County Fair, how are you doing on your Ultimate Summer Bucket List?  We hit our half-way mark this past week and attending the county fair helped make that possible.

But, I digress.


We came across this way cool toy called SPLAT!  I really can’t describe how cool it is in words.  I just have to show you video so you can see it for yourself.

As I mentioned, we got ours at the fair, but you can get it on Amazon by clicking SPLAT above.  It looks like it’s cheaper on-line than what we paid for it, which seems typical.  I noticed the reviews on-line speak about the product bursting fairly easily.  We have not had that issue at all (at least not yet) and our whole family has been making the most of the toy.  It just doesn’t get old to watch it transform from flat to spherical.

Happy playing!

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